Amnesia was her Name, - CherryChapstick54, Genderless_Bleach (2024)

Chapter 1: Goat Boy

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Tommy had woken up, first confused, where was he? A mud hole or hut, possibly a house, a poorly made house then, the floor was hard and soft, and the damn place was cold and wet. He sat himself up, why was he here? His body hurt like a bitch and his head was throbbing, god he couldn’t even remember who he was, that’s not a good thing he’s pretty fucking sure. Pushing himself off the ground with a groan, his bones and joints cracking as he does, fucking hell his clothes were muddy, and was that blood?! Fuck, it is blood.

Tommy doesnt fucking know what to do, so naturally, he screeches, “WHAT THE FUCK!” Why is there so much blood! Is it his?! “Oh god oh god I’m going to die!” The brit was maybe a touch dramatic but he was covered in blood, of course he was going to be fucking dramatic! You don’t just wake up covered in blood one fucking day, that is not fucking normal, let alone something that happens on your average day! He needed to get his mind off of this bullshit and fast.

The blonde boy searched around the dirt hut looking for some clean clothes, he needed to clean himself up, his current clothes were fucking gross. After digging around some chests and stripping himself of his shirt he found some new clothes, granted they happened to be just the same shirt and pants, it wasn’t that bad, the shirt was cool looking and he needed to clean up, so it was a win to the brit. He tried to brush off the grime on his body with just his hands, quickly realizing he needed water.

“Fucking hell,” he looked around for a bucket of water and cloth, silently thanking the gods when he found some. The teen cleaned himself off, finally able to put some fresh clothes on.

“Seems like it is time for little ol’ me to get outside.'' He spoke to himself, stretching out only to feel pain run through his body, “ow ow ow oh fuckkkkk-” he stops rubbing over the painful spots, “not doin’ that shit again.” He heads out of the house, feeling the pain run through his body. God, leaving his house wasn’t a good idea, he was immediately stopped by some fuckin’ short ass goat man, how dare this tiny horned dipshit stop him!

“Hey Tommy! Are you alright, cause like last night wasn’t pretty, Wilburs bombing was pretty heavy. I had to drag your poor knocked out ass home after you got knocked out by the explosion! I guess it’s weird for me to ask if you’re alright, you got real fucked up out there. and,,” The goat boy continues talking while Tommy, that’s his name right? That’s what this goat boy said, but is he even trustworthy?

“What are you even saying? Who even are you?” He looked down at the horned boy, “Why are you speaking to me like you know me?” Trying to actually tell the boy about his confusion didn’t seem to work, as all he got in return was a confused stare.

“Tommy how hard did you hit your head man? You’re acting all weird! It’s me Tubbo, your best friend?? Bee boy, your spy for pogtopia, hello man, do you need some ice for your head?” What the boy, or Tubbo said all sounds familiar, but he can’t remember it, like none at all. Weird, it’s probably just nothing though, cause maybe its just his brain forgetting things cause of the bombs and it’ll all come back to him.

“Agh, sorry Tubs,” what- where did Tubs come from? Whatever, “My head still hurts from the bombs, its hard to think clearly, ya know, blunt force trauma.” He chuckles, hopefully he’s not completely lying. He smiles at the goat boy... Tubbo, hoping that what he said is all true, because he’d like to know what the fuck is happening. Also, thank the gods Tubbo seemed to believe what he said.

“Alright Tom, just stop being all sketchy, okay? I'm going to see if the hole is safe to explore yet. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” The goat boy then went off towards where, Tommy could only assume, the bomb site is. Tommy sighed at the leaving of the smaller boy's presence, what a strange little man.

“What the hell is going on?” Tommy questions himself quietly, “Why can’t I just fucking remember everything?!” Nearly screaming the last bit, he heads down the oak pathway, lost in his thoughts about everything.

“Stupid fucking bombs messing up my brain…” The tall boy grumbles, kicking rocks off of the prime path, just trying to get his emotions out any way he can. This all sucks, he just wants to know what’s going on! He groans, sitting down on the edge of the path with an angry thump.

“Why did it have to be me of all god damn people!” He huffs, looking out at the structures that are visible to him from the path, his jaw is clenched as he gazes out at the land.

Chapter 2: Crater

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Tommy looked out over the crater that was in the ground, the smell of smoke and blood still fresh in the air. Why did this place seem so familiar to him? The goat boy, Tub or something said he was knocked out by the explosion that made this hole, but why did it feel like he knew this place from more than just that? He stared into the large crater in the ground, his heart felt heavy looking at it, this place felt like it was home to him at one point, but the mud hut seemed to be his real home, all of his stuff was there, so he shouldn’t feel this way over some crater made by some maniac.

“Hey Tom! Are you here to help?” A voice had called from behind him, causing him to turn and find the goat boy from earlier.

“What? No, I’m just looking at the hole.” The taller boy kicked some of the ash on the ground, “So this is what knocked me out, huh.” He felt a tinge of sadness from the scene while talking about such. He really shouldn’t feel that way, he doesn’t even know what this place is.

“I was doin’ that earlier,” the horned boy sits at the edge of the hole, “it’s hard to look at this place we fought for just now a pit of ash and blood.” The goat boy sighs, “I really am just the president of a crater.” Wait, this little goat boy is the president? How the hell did that happen?

“You’re the president of a hole?” Tommy sits next to him, looking out at it.

“Yes, Tom you literally elected me to be the president,” he gives the blonde a shove, “you really hit your head hard, huh?”

“Aye, I remember!” He defends himself “I just didn’t mean to say it like that!”

“Okay, okay, sure I believe you,” The smaller leans onto Tommy, causing him to flinch, “but, are you sure man, you seem off, it’s probably just your head though, right?” Tommy just nods, staying abnormally quiet despite his normal chipper and loud self. Tubbo looks up at the blonde, not really sure if he should be concerned or not about all of this.

“Wanna help me flood this place? I think it’ll give L’manburg a new start, ya know?” The goat boy speaks, pushing himself up off of the ground. Tommy looks up at him, getting up and dusting himself off.

“Yeah sure, why not?” The lack of enthusiasm caused the goat boy to just stare at the taller.

“What the fuck is up with you man?”

“What do you mean big man?” The taller seems confused.

Tubbo just stares at Tommy for a second “You know what it's nothing, lets just flood this bitch!”

The duo then go onto flood the crater, hoping to give this place new life from doing such. The whole process seems odd from Tubbo’s point of view, Tommy seeming rather quiet, only saying a few things that are even off from his usual self, he was even asking how he could make it easier for the both of them. That shit never happens, usually Tommy picks the hard way, it makes him who he is, it’s almost like his whole personality got dropped for a new and more confused devil boy.

“Okay, Tom, is something up, like for real, you’re wayyy too quiet while we’re doing this.” The goat boy expresses his concern just to get a confused look from the devil boy.

“Nothing happened man! I just am still feeling funky from the whole, I hit my head thing dude!” Tommy covers up his quietness with the half truth.

“Right, sorry Tommy, it’s just weird when you’re all quiet n’ stuff, I’m used to you screaming at me all the time man.”

“Ah, it’s fine dude.” Tommy gives the goat boy a small smile before getting his ass back to work.

-timeset sunset-

The sun was setting over the L’manlake, causing the two teens to have to stop their work, Tommy groans, stretching out, “Ah fuck man, we better head to bed, I don’t have any armor and the mobs are gonna come out.”

“But, now hear me out, it would be funny-” The goat boy’s suggestion was quickly shut down with a laugh from the blonde.

“I mean it would, but we’d get so hurt.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll see you tomorrow Tom, don’t get hurt by the gay mobs!” The duo then set off to their homes for the night.

[TW: Panic attack, derealization, dissociation, and self harm]

As soon as the loud brit entered his dirt hut, a wave of anxiety fell over him; he still has no clue who he really is. Is he even real? None of this felt real, he felt like he was floating outside of his own head, trying desperately to remember who the hell he was in this damn world. His breathing got faster, was he real? He gripped his arms, falling down onto the floor, there is no way he could be right now, it doesn’t feel real at all, is he dreaming? He can’t tell anymore, tears flood his eyes as he desperately tries to breathe. The air seemed to escape his lungs, suffocating him. He folded himself over scratching at his arms, trying to feel real so desperately, yet he couldn’t. The brit cried out for help, but it was too quiet to hear, even for himself. He felt like he was dying, at least he was feeling something, but in that moment he started to hear his sobs fill the room. He sounded so weak, so fragile, why couldn’t he just toughen up a little, it wasn’t even that bad, was it? His nails dug deep into his skin, small drops of blood forming from it. Small pleas for help filled the hut until the lack of oxygen caused him to fall limp, passing out from exhaustion and lack of oxygen. The boy lay on the floor for the rest of the night, his body finally able to rest.

Chapter 3: Tomato Farm

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Tommy has been helping rebuild L’manburg for a couple weeks now, and for the most part, it had been going smoothly, until some green man decided to show up. The green fuck just won’t leave Tommy alone, what the hell did he ever do to this annoying fuck.

“Could you just fuck off already!” Tommy finally hit his limit of all of the green man’s bullshit, “You’re literally an adult, go mess with someone your own goddamn age now could you!”

“Tommy, Tommy, you’ve done so much to everyone, what I’m doing isn’t even that bad. So, I advise you to stay in your place, Tommy. I’m the one in control here. All you’re doing is making things worse for yourself.” The green man moved the mask to cover more of his face. “You’re a problem Tommy, and I’m just watching you, so why don’t you just get your ass back to work.” The devil boy doesn’t even know what he did to this pretentious fuck, annoyed by all of that, he lets out a huff, straightening out his tail, before getting back to work.

-Timeset Noon-

This treatment is getting on the brits nerves, causing him to look for an escape. ‘Tomato farming doesn’t sound half bad,’ the blonde thought to himself, ‘then I could just have time to myself and everyone could leave me the fuck alone.’ So, the devil boy went out to gather seeds and gardening tools for his farm. While out on his little exploration, he kept thinking about what he could do with his tomatoes and all the food he could make with them.

Finally Tommy had something to keep him content with whatever the fuck his life has become. Nothing can stop him from just having a nice time farming tomatoes and living his life! Freedom from his own thoughts! He hurries back to his house with all of the tools he needs.

Tommy flats himself a piece of land, just something small, that could maybe fit 5 tomato plants. Digging out small pockets in the dirt just for the tomatoes, humming to the tune of hallelujah as he places the seeds in their pockets of dirt. He was feeling content, pushing some dirt over the seeds.

“I’ll be right back big guys, I need to get some water for you fellas.” He spoke sweetly to his farm before heading out to fetch some water for his babies. He grabs himself a bucket before heading down to the river.

Scooping up some water for his plants, he feels a presence behind him, “Who’s there?”

“Don’t worry Tommy, it’s just me~” It’s that green fuck again.

“What the hell do you want from me, you teletubby looking ass?”

[TW; panic attack, mentions of murder, family member death mention, manipulation, physical harm, encouragement of suicide, other mentions of suicide, and Dream being an abuser]

“It’s really nothing Tommy, I just wanted to see what you were up to, but it seems that someone's feeling like fighting, even though his big brother isn’t here to save him anymore.” The green man mocks him, “Too bad daddy had to kill him, right Tommy?~” The masked man looked down at him, clearly wanting to piss Tommy off more, but much to his surprise, Tommy looked fearful, what had he forgotten? His brother was killed by their own father! He had a brother and father, that’s some fucking news to him!

“What- what are you talking about,” Tommy starts to feel panic wash over him like a fucking tidal wave, “I-I don’t have a brother you-you bitch!”

Dream just cackles, “Not anymore you don’t, Tommy!” The man’s manic laughter flooded Tommy’s ears, making him want to scream and run away. Why did this man know more than him?! He’s sure that if he had a family, he of all people would know about it! He couldn't handle it anymore, he covered his ears hyperventilating, the laughing was too loud, he didn’t want to hear it anymore, he wanted to escape. The noise only caused him to sob, why couldn’t he just have a peaceful moment without something wrecking it?! His brother is dead ?

How do you just forget about your own family? That’s not normal, right? Of course it isn’t! He would know if his brother was killed by his own father, right ?! There were too many thoughts in Tommy’s head, about his family and about what the man in front of him was saying. It was too much to handle all at once. He wanted the man to leave, but he was still talking to him, despite Tommy's pleas.The words weren’t processing in his head, all he knew was that what was being said wasn't good. The only words he could piece together caused him to cry more; he couldn’t escape the man or the world. He just wanted to be happy, but the world didn't have that in store for him. Now that he found out he had a family and one of the members, his own brother , is dead , it feels like the world is crumbling beneath him.

In the midst of Tommy’s panic, he’s brought out of his mind by a kick in the stomach, causing the air to escape his lungs.

“Stop crying, Tommy, it could be worse.” The masked man kicks him harder, now closer to his chest, the force of the kick moving the man’s mask to the side, “You could be dead instead!” He’s shouting now, and his eyes light up as if he’s made some sort of revelation, “Or maybe you do want that!” The man steps on Tommy’s side harshly, causing him to cry out in pain. “Maybe I should kill you, Tommy! I mean, come on, at this point, you really are asking for it! No one could say I wasn’t merciful, because I’d only be listening to your final wish!”

“STOP! STOP IT PLEASE!” Tommy begs to be let free. It hurts, it all hurts. He almost thinks that he’d take the man up on his offer, just to be free from this pain.

“SHUT UP TOMMY!” He pauses and takes a deep breath, “God, you’re so fucking annoying!” He fixes his mask, “You know, nobody cares about you.” He’s circling him now. Like a shark before it devours its meal. Tommy would be relieved that the man finally showed mercy, but his demeanor says otherwise, “You’re just an annoying child with no fucking life left!” He’s laughing hysterically now, the sick fuck. And suddenly, the man is crouched over him, and his voice turns into a serious whisper, “So why don’t you just do it Tommy?”

“Wh-What?” His throat hurts, no, his lungs, and there must be broken ribs in ten different places, because Tommy can’t remember the last time it hurt this bad just to talk. Although, to be fair, he can’t remember a lot of things right now. And he’s pretty sure there’s a waterfall of blood coming out of his mouth right now.

“Kill yourself! No one will miss you.” The masked man laughs at Tommy’s pain and fear, maybe he was right? Tommy’s crying seems to quiet down. “Finally shutting up, thank god.” He laughs again with a crazed smile on his face, “You know, I’m getting really sick of you Tommy! I think it’s time I shut you up for good.”

That’s the last thing Tommy hears before his ears fill with water. The masked man pushed him into the river and he’s drowning, but it’s too painful; he can’t move his body. All he can do is hold his breath, but it’s not long before his lungs give out and there’s water filling his throat and nose.

Pain. It’s all he can feel. His body is suddenly thrashing around, searching for an escape, but his strength is gone, he’s weak. Tommy feels the pain in his throat and nose and the rest of his body, and wow , apparently the pain can get worse, and he’s crying again. It all burns like he’s getting hot lava poured on every inch of his body, and he wants nothing more than to throw up any and everything in his system, but before he gets the chance, it all gets darker; and the pain is starting to subside.

Tommy spends his last conscious moments thanking the goddess of death for at least taking his pain away before he dies.

Chapter 4: A second Chance

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!![STRONG TW!! FOR DEREALIZATION AND DEPERSONALIZATION FOR THE END OF THIS CHAPTER PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH THESE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER OR PROCEED WITH CAUTION]!!

Tommy’s eyes opened, it was bright, too bright; is this death? Maybe, but why can he feel? His whole body aches and he’s soaking wet, is he still alive? His question was answered fairly quickly as a tall shadow figure seemingly in a large hat approached him, speaking in a soft, soothing voice, almost motherly.

“Tommy, my son, it is not your time to pass on to my world, not yet. Take this as a second chance. You shan't die yet, my child…” Her voice faded out into the distance, and her shadow seemed to leave with it.

What the fuck just happened to him?! HE’S ALIVE????? What is this bullshit?! Nothing that shadow woman said has comforted him, he’s fuckin’ pissed, he didn’t want to live anymore, there’s no point if he can’t remember the life he has! Unable to change what has happened, Tommy begrudgingly sits up, but he can barely move, the pain is almost unbearable, and he feels like he’s ran multiple marathons with how exhausted he is. Tommy quickly realizes how bad of a beating he had been put through earlier. Speaking of, what day was it, and where is he? Looking around, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his head, he tried to identify where he was.

The blonde was currently sitting on a frozen beach, the air was frosty and he was cold, very cold, he didn’t even realize at first but he was freezing, and his clothes weren’t doing anything for him with how shredded and wet they were. He wasn’t too sure where he was, just that it was most likely south of home, and that he needed to either get out of here or build a shelter. Seeing as the sun was setting over the spruce trees in the distance already, a shelter was the safer option.

-timeset night-

Tommy had finished his shelter; it was messy and poorly constructed but it would keep him safe overnight, and he hurt too much to care. His body seemed to ache more and his eyes felt heavy, it was all so painful, and before he knew it, he fell onto the icey dirt floor, lacking the strength or care to make the place more comfortable. Tommy laid on the cold floor, so cold, but it didn’t matter, the goddess of death clearly wasn’t on his side, she left him to suffer in the cruel world instead of letting him feel the release of death. The pain eventually became too unbearable to even stay awake, causing him to faint; at least he could rest.

In the brits rest, he could hear the echoing of a female’s voice, this time different from the warm motherly voice he had heard on the beach, this one was young and childish, “Kri-.. You can’t leave him there like that! He’ll freeze!” Was the voice speaking about him? They must be right? His question was quickly answered when he heard the same motherly voice from earlier speak, “Yes, I am aware Dr-…a, but I do not hold the same powers as you, I am not able to create anything more than life or death. D-..t.. if you could, please keep my son warm.” There it was again, ‘my son’, they had to be talking about him! The childish voice spoke again, “I’m not like my brother ma’am! I can’t create like him, XD labeled me as the g-....ss of mischief I-I can’t Kri-.....n” The motherly voice spoke again, comforting what seemed to be the younger, “You can, I know you can, I’ve seen it Dr-..t.. Just allow yourself to be comfortable, and believe in yourself, and you will be able to.”

Tommy wonders why he can hear them, where was he? He looked around, he was still cold but he appeared to be in a void of space and time; nothing was there besides him and the voices, was he even awake? He didn’t feel awake, nor dead or alive, he didn’t feel quite real either, he couldn’t figure it out. Before he could figure out what was happening, he was suddenly warmer, the floor felt softer, and the world around him was fuzzy and soft. Before he felt his mind leave the void he heard the childish voice speak one last time, “I DID IT I DID IT MUMZA!” Giggles and cheers float around him before finally fading away with his mind back into the real world, where his body slept comfortably, tucked away into a warm and fuzzy room.

His body felt nicer and more comfortable, but in the end his mind was still awake yet asleep, he found himself feeling as if he was floating between realities while his body rested. The world felt very small and his body was big, he couldn’t see anything other than the void that was between worlds, but he could still feel the disorientation of size through his body. He fit perfectly in his bed but he felt as if he was higher than the ground, floating in the air above his bed. Everything felt unreal, as if his time and space wasn’t relevant to his body and mind anymore. Was this a dream? What was happening to him? The distortion continued, making his body go numb, pins and needles dropped throughout his body before he could snap out of it. Tommy jolted awake, breathing heavily, looking around, the world was still distorted around him. What was happening? Nothing was truly real anymore, not while he felt like this, his body felt too big for the shack, his shack, he wasn’t home. He forgot about what had happened earlier and was too worried about the current situation and the world distorting around him. How did he end up in a bed though? What was happening? He couldn’t tell with the fuzziness of his head floating away from his body and the large shack that made him question his own body's proportions, he didn't know anymore.

Chapter 5: Meetings

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A voice boomed through the dark void, “KRISTIN WHERE ARE YOU?!” The goddess knew she was screwed right then and there, XD must have found out what she had done. Oh fuck, she knew one day her love for taking care of mortals was going to screw her over.

The tall goddess turned to the winged deity, "What’s troubling you, XD?"

“Why is there a child floating in and out of our realm?!” The formless being points with his many wings towards the floating unconscious teen.

“I am not quite sure XD; maybe try asking Drista?” Kristin knew exactly why the Brit was floating around their realm, but the raven winged goddess had no clue how to fix it.

“Kristin, you know exactly why he’s here, don’t you?” Other than the general frustration that XD had at the moment, his demonic side should not have been coming out so easily. It might be affected by the sudden addition to the void, meaning XD could be more connected to the anatomy of the world than they had originally thought. Kristin was admittedly a little scared to continue the conversation now that his demonic side was involved. But he would get even more upset if she kept playing dumb, so maybe trying to reason with him would work.

“I didn’t know this would happen, he was too young to just die XD! Haven’t you seen the state of their people and countries recently?”

“Whether he was too young or not doesn’t matter, you are the goddess of death. You know how reviving the dead without proper steps can interrupt the balance of this world! And you and I both know that the mortals will go on with their lives like they always do, regardless of the recent incident. Humans know how to forget about the dead better than anyone else, Kristin, I’m sure they’ll be fine; but we won’t be if you don’t fix this!”

“Again, I apologize for what I caused, but what do you expect me to do now? I’ve never done something like this in the thousands of years I’ve been alive!”

“Kristin! Take care of it! I don’t care what you have to do, even if you have to kill the damn kid.” The goddess nearly cried at the harsh words, her son didn’t deserve to die this young, the both of her children shouldn’t be dead!

The goddess stayed silent for a moment, choosing her words carefully, “I’ll do what I can, but I don’t think I will be able to reverse these changes.” She needed to see Phil. She’s no where near happy right now. But her fearfulness was easily replaced with anger, “You know deep down this is not all my fault. You need to control him XD, he’s dangerous.” The large woman walks away, the click of her heels echoing throughout the void.

“XD, why did you make Mumza mad?” The younger goddess looks up at her brother, picking one of his many eyes to look into, “One of her sons is dead, why don’t you just let Tommy stay alive?” XD stares down at her then just floats away, causing the girl to scoff at their pettiness.

-timeset ???-

The fighting between the gods seemed to have no effect on the half conscious boy, as he was just floating around. He hadn’t been thinking about anything in particular, in fact, he just kept staring into the distance, zoned out. Tommy knew that the people around him were talking about something related to death, a boy, and every now and then they got a bit more quiet than usual, but then there was one voice in particular that got very loud and distorted. At times, the distorted voice scared Tommy, but with the other two people there, he figured it was better than being alone in his dirt hut all the time.

When put together, the three voices were actually quite soothing to the boy. They almost sounded like a small family, at least, what he thought a family sounded like. Family’s fight with each other, right? That sounds familiar to Tommy, so it must be true.

The background noise helped him stay zoned out, making sure he could be comfortable where he was. Tommy felt like if he laid there long enough and if he didn’t move a muscle, he could stay there forever. That would be perfect. So, he stayed as still as he possibly could, and every now and then he had to remind himself to breathe properly because of how hard he was trying. Tommy thought it was working so far, considering the three people were still fighting, and Tommy still couldn’t feel his surroundings like the overworld. Hopefully, it could stay that way for him.

Drista on the other hand was more than concerned for the blonde. She had never seen her brother get so mad at a lost soul; usually the souls that passed through were pets or lost travelers going between realms. Drista liked the travelers, they kept her informed on what was happening in the worlds; she didn’t leave the void much, so it was nice to hear about what the creatures she would give fire and TNT to did other than blow shit up.

She never really found it important to keep a close watch on the beings, it made the stories much funnier to her; knowing she could have stopped the situation or made it worse. The beings weren’t very smart and it just made her job as the goddess of mischief much easier. The beings knew so little and yet cared so much about their societies that could all crumble down with a snap of her fingers.

The young goddess typically knew everything right away, but hearing about it from the poor mortals who just couldn’t do anything about it made it much more fun.

The fight over Tommy had not ended in a way Kristin had wished for, the glorified floating rings of body parts told her to kill her fucking son, of course she would be in a bad mood! No way was she killing off her son who she had just brought back from the dead, no fucking way. The winged goddess loved and cared for her children deeply, though never really being able to interact with them, other than accidentally making Wilbur think that fridge she possessed was his mom, she still tried to take care of her sons. They were her first living, breathing, and speaking creations, she couldn’t not do everything in her power to protect them. She huffed, pissed off at the faceless deity, leaving the void to go and see her beloved crow husband.

“Philza,” she called out to her quite a bit shorter husband of 5,038 years, “My love, where have you gone?” The tall woman searched around the mortal world for her husband; only to find him building in their deceased son's country, or lack thereof, "Phil? What are you doing, love?"

Philza looks up at the giant woman, speaking softly, "Bringing life back to what was destroyed."

Kristin smiles and gives him a kiss, "Let me help love."

Chapter 6: North

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[TW!! Suicidal ideations, mentions of gore/blood, attempting suicide, and asking to be murdered]

Tommy finally feels himself snap back into reality, but still feels as if he was unconscious, as he was earlier, and he forces himself out of the bed he doesn’t remember making. Though, he can’t remember much of anything so it doesn’t make a big difference anyway.

Tommy works his way slowly out of the poorly constructed shelter he made, trying to figure out where his home would be from his current spot. Knowing it would be generally north of where he was, he looks up at the sky, searching for the sun, easily finding which direction North was. Now all he needs is a boat. The Brit sighs at the realization, not wanting to do all of this work while in pain.

"Psst! Hey you, Blondie!" A voice had called out to Tommy, making the boy's head spin trying to figure out where the voice had come from. "In the tree dumbass!"

Tommy cranks his neck backward to look up at the feminine voice, nearly falling from the whiplash he feels. There is a young feminine person in the trees, wearing a long green dress with messy patchwork and sleeves that fall off their shoulders, a brown cloak that just covers their bare shoulders and head, and lastly, a mask with a '; )' engraved in it. The mask seems familiar, yet Tommy can’t tell if it’s in a good or bad way. The mask seems friendly enough. It even has small blush marks etched into it.

The girl drops down from the tree and seems to almost float onto the snowy floor of the tundra. The Brit takes a closer look at them. They have a belt snug around their waist to probably keep the items hanging off of it in check, and they have a satchel slung over their shoulder, but it doesn’t hold arrows. In fact, the quiver was empty.

"Tommy, right? I'm Drista! I'm the girl sent to your rescue. I'm gonna get your amnesia-having-ass out of this freezing place!" The way Drista speaks sounds young and happy, like if anything bad or traumatic was to happen to her, it would roll right off, like a raincoat. Tommy finds that strange. Anyone can experience bad situations–surely she has at some point in her life–but something about her vibrant voice and eccentric body language makes it seem like she may not even be alive. Tommy shakes his head at the idea. He has no reason to assume that this person isn’t just happy–but really, who’s that happy??

"How do you know my name?" Tommy questions the young girl.

"Red and white shirt and messy blond hair, everyone knows your name!" The girl states, as if it was obvious. Tommy just stares at her in disbelief. How did everyone know who he is? What has he done that made everyone know him? "When you could remember shit, you were the star of the whole SMP, y’know." Tommy just blinks in disbelief. Is she reading his mind? "Yeah, so what?"

Tommy’s eyes widen and he screams out, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" The girl just laughs at him, far more than amused by Tommy’s reaction. “You can’t just fuckin’ say that shit!”

“Sorry man, but you're so confused, it’s actually kind of funny.” The girl giggles at him, “But, what do you need, Blondie?”

“I need to get back home and to know who I fucking am.” Tommy pauses for a moment before turning to face the girl. “But, if you really want to help, I think it would be easier for the both of us if you just killed me.” He looks at her, his blue eyes riddled with exhaustion and sadness, dark bags underneath them, showing proof of his lack of quality sleep recently. Drista actually feels a little bad for the kid. He’s already been through a lot for being a teenager. “If you could just put me out of this hell, please. I don’t even know how I got here, but I’m like 90% sure that it was not by my own means; I don’t think I’m supposed to be alive right now. So, just fix it, please?”

The girl only looks at him in disappointment and sadness. “Tommy, this is your second chance at life. I’m here to guide you, not kill you.” The girl floats upwards into the sky, taking a look at their surroundings. “Do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

The girl floats elegantly, her dress floating around her, revealing some pants with more items stuffed in the pockets. This girl is clearly some type of deity, but she doesn’t seem to be as mature as one would think an all powerful being would be. She seems more relaxed and like she’s just here to have fun and mess around. Wait, Tommy just yelled at a Deity. Oh shit, he’s actually fucked.

“The easy way, kill me.” He sticks to his word, which seems to annoy the goddess.

“Tommy, Tommy, I don’t think you understand, you wanting me to kill you is the hard way. The easy way is me giving you a boat and moving the tide with you, but it appears you’d rather fight with me about this.” The young deity floats down so she’s able to look the Brit in the eyes. “So do you want the hard way or the easy way?”

The blond glares at her. “Kill me, fucking do it! I don’t want to live like this, so just do it, kill me! Put me out of my misery like a sick dog! Shoot me in the head, stab me in the gut, slit my neck! Please, do anything , please, please!” He’s crying–not a cry of grief, but rather a cry of anguish and greed. Drista thinks for a second that maybe she should just put the poor boy out of his misery, but she’ll be damned if she’s not someone who sticks to their word.

So, Drista still doesn’t kill him.

A small sigh falls from the girl's mouth; she isn’t giving in. “Tommy, I’m not killing you, but I will bring you back home, even if I have to drag you there myself.” She grabs the boy by his shirt collar and flies them up over the water, getting tired of his attempts at death. “So I’ll say it again, Tommy. Do you want the hard way or the easy way.”

The Brit is too stubborn to listen to her, struggling, trying to shake from her grip so he can at least die here, but the deity isn’t going to let that slide, lassoing him to her like he is some pig she decided to keep as a pet.

“Let me go!” Tommy screams at her, desperate to die in the moment. “Drop me! Kill me! I don’t deserve to live. Can you not fucking see, bitch! Let me die! For XD’s sake, kill me!” He’s screaming like he’s being murdered, when it’s entirely the opposite.

“My brother wouldn’t care. Quite frankly, he didn’t take a liking to you, Tommy. He much prefers the brunet mushroom boy to all of his people.” She speaks calmly, dragging the struggling boy over the vast freezing ocean. “So shut up, and let me save you for your mother’s sake.”

“I don’t have a mother, you fucking idiot!” Tommy is aware she most likely knows more than him, but he doesn’t remember having a mother, so he should be right compared to this prick who's dragging him by a rope over an ocean.

“Tommy, shut up or I’m knocking you out.” In Tommy’s mind, the girl seems to care about him, just not so much as a friend, but more so like she wants something from him, or maybe she was forced to help him from someone else. She doesn’t seem to actually want to help him. Whenever Tommy tries to ask for the sweet release of death, she just looks at him in pity and disappointment.

Tommy finds himself just screaming at the goddess, much to her dismay, so she hits him over the head and knocks him out.

-Timeset sunset-

Tommy wakes up in his bed, groaning from a raging headache. “What the fuck happened?”

“I knocked you out cause you were being an annoying bitch when I was doing you a favor.” a voice spoke from across the room, causing Tommy to scream. The girl only sighs at his stupidity and rolls her eyes. “I’ll say it again if you need me to, Tommy. I’m Drista and you have amnesia. We’ve already met, so please shut up for the sake of my ears.”

“Why would you do that!?” Tommy sputters out, shocked that that could even happen.

“Like I said, you were annoying me, so I shut you up by knocking you out!” The girl just smiles at him sweetly. “But that’s the least of our worries right now, m’kay? Let's just get you out of this shack and get to know each other!” The masked girl's energy quickly changes from serious to playful.

“Why should I? I don’t…” Tommy pauses, remembering the girl's entrance from earlier that day. “I barely know you.”

“I got you off that island. It’s the least you could do for lil’ ol’ me, Tommy.” The girl, Drista or was it Amnesia? flashes him a playful smile. “So come on! Let’s go!” The goddess grabs his arm firmly before flying them out of the house.

Tommy shrieks from being flown out of the house by the young girl. “YOU’RE FLYING TOO LOW!” He tries to pull himself up more, wrapping his arms around her in a panic so he doesn’t scrape up his knees more. “Not everyone is as short as you bitch!” The comment only causes the girl to get lower to the ground.

“Don’t insult my height, Blondie. I’m trying to have fun with you!” She flashes him a mischievous smile before launching them straight up into the air. The blond screams loudly from the sudden speed of her movements while she laughs at him. “I’m not going to drop you Tommy, don’t get your panties in a bunch!” She finds herself laughing more.

“Oi, you fuckin’ cunt, I’m not scared of you dropping me,” He looks down at the clouds, finding himself gripping a little harder onto her. “I was just shocked at how fast you fucking brought us up here, you little shit!” Tommy feels them lowering to the ground slowly.

“Fine, I’ll let you down–”

“That’s not what I–” He cuts himself off with a scream as they’re now rapidly falling.

“Gotcha, bitch!” The girl screams over him as she adjusts the way they’re flying so she can land them safely, or that’s what she thinks before they land on a poor bystander. “OH FUCK!” She drops Tommy and goes to check on the person they just hit. Tommy lies dazed on the floor by the other dazed person Drista is checking on. “Are you alright dude? I didn’t see you there!”

Tommy sits up to look at the person they hit. They’re rather weird looking with half-black and half-white skin and hair. The darker skin tone reminds Tommy of an enderman, along with the strangely shaped mouth and abnormally long limbs.

“I’m-I’m alright just uh confused, like…” The poor dude is shaking while trying to form a sentence. “Wh-Who are you, um, p-people?”

Drista speaks up for the both of them. “I’m Drista and this fuck is Tommy.”

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!” His screaming scares the other dude and causes Drista to burst out laughing.

The anxious boy speaks shakily, “I’m-I’m, um, Ran-Ranboo.”

“Well, Ranboo, you must be new around here cause I know everyone, and I’ve never heard of you!” Drista speaks confidently, standing up to help the other two up. Tommy, once stood up, stares upwards at Ranboo, just taking in his existence. Ranboo looks away from Tommy, avoiding eye contact. Tommy feels himself growing curious on who this new guy was, causing him to look over Ranboo’s entire body, looking at their belongings. Tommy notices a book Ranboo is holding close to his chest. It appears to be important to the tall man.

“What’s that?” the Brit asks as he points to the book.

Ranboo looks at the book, then at Tommy, speaking yet again with a shaking voice. “It’s, uh, my…well, diary? I just write important things in it, I guess…”

The taller person's words spark an idea in Tommy’s mind. A book he can write in. Maybe he can keep his own. If his memory ever gets worse, he can look back on it! With the new idea fresh in his head, Tommy runs home to go and make himself a book.

“D-Did I scare him?”

“Nah, he’s just an idiot.”

Chapter 7: How to Sex–Totally Not a Suspicious Name

Chapter Text

!!!All character relationships are meant as strictly platonic in this fanfic (other than the beloved Phil and Kristin),, DON'T BE WEIRD!!!

Tommy looks at the book he just made. Thinking to himself, he tries to figure out what would be the least suspicious name for a memory book. Then it comes to him: How to Sex. No one will think it’s a diary, they’d just think it is one of the stupid things Tommy writes as a joke.

A sudden scream from that girl Amnesia makes Tommy jump, losing his train of thought. “TOMMY, you can’t just leave like that man. We’re here to have fun!” Tommy turns to look at her, noticing the tall dude from earlier is standing behind her. “We’re also bringing Ranboo with us cause they seem pretty chill!” Amnesia flashes him a smile from under her mask. Ranboo just shakes from the acknowledgement, which the blond finds a bit comedic.

“Alright, fine. Just give me a minute, bitch!” Tommy quickly writes down ‘How to Sex’ on the cover of his notebook before tossing it down on his bed. “Where are we goin’ and don’t you dare fucking fly me into the clouds again, dickhead!” Drista only laughs at the comment.

“I won’t! I promise!” Amnesia keeps laughing, appearing to have a complete mood swing from that morning; giving tough love and harsh slaps with reality to lighthearted and energetic. To be completely honest, Tommy much prefers this attitude over the one from earlier that day. He feels as if he can actually enjoy her presence and have fun with her despite their rocky start.

The group of teens exit Tommy’s home to look for a bit of chaos to create. With a quick movement, Drista scoops up the other two and flies them up, the action causing Ranboo to hold onto her with all his might to not be dropped. Tommy on the other hand is scoping out where a fun place to blow shit up would be.

Amnesia speaks to the taller, “What if we blew up that ugly ass hobbit hole over there?”

“I think it’s kinda cute.”

“I think it belongs to my brother's mushroom boyfriend, so we should blow it up.” The bluntness of it all causes the group of teens to burst out laughing. They’re going to have fun–Tommy can finally have fun. “So first things first.” Drista drops the two mortals down in front of the hobbit hole. “You two need some fire!” She drops down some flint and steel to the two boys.

Tommy cackles from the power he suddenly has, “YEAHHHHHH TIME TO BURN SOME SHIT DOWN, BOYS!” Amnesia laughs with him while Ranboo just stands confused and slightly concerned. Tommy pulls the taller into the hobbit hole, raiding the house for any good items while Amnesia places TNT outside of the house. The dual tone boy, though hesitant at first, seems to get into it soon enough, laughing and messing around with Tommy. With Ranboo taking the first step to light the fire, the duo quickly set the house ablaze.

Drista shouts a warning to the two inside, “RUN! SHE’S ABOUT TO BLOW!” The duo inside come sprinting out of the house, adrenaline running through their blood and excitement radiating off of them. The three find themselves in a fit of laughter as the TNT can be heard going off behind them.

In the moment Tommy feels happiness, and he feels safe. Maybe he doesn’t need his real family; this is enough for him. Finally, a wash of peace runs over Tommy’s body and he falls to the ground with a smile, Drista and Ranboo quick to follow his actions. The group of teens lay laughing in a pile on the ground, moon rising in the distance. Nothing can replace the feeling. Tommy feels at home. As the laughter dies down, Tommy feels an arm wrap around him. It’s Amnesia’s. She scoops the two up and flies them upwards into the air. Unlike the past times, Tommy stays quiet, seeming to relax into the chaos, while Ranboo on the other hand is screaming from the suddenness of the whole situation.

Tommy finds himself laughing with Amnesia, resting his head on her shoulder, laughing quietly instead of his usual obnoxious laugh. Drista flies the two taller boys around, finding a simple flower field for the three of them to relax in after the chaos that they had created. Drista sets the two down and pulls a blanket out of her bag, laying it out on the ground for the three to sit on.

The moment is simple–peaceful some would say. The three teens lay out under the moon in a field of flowers, a cool breeze washing over their bodies as they speak to one another in a hushed tone. Tommy can’t have asked for anything more at the moment. He has everything he can ever need.

With the moon reaching higher in the night sky, Tommy feels himself dozing off. His arms coil around Ranboo’s body, bringing the taller closer for warmth, while Amnesia floats idly above them, whispering facts about the stars to Ranboo.

Ranboo places his hand in Tommy’s mess of hair, petting him subconsciously. The devil horned boy isn’t one to regularly fall into a scene like this, but it feels more than natural to Ranboo; It felt right. The taller hums softly as they listen to Drista’s facts about the stars–all of it sounds strange but who is he to correct a goddess. Drista seems to speak fondly of the stars, calling them her home. She tells Ranboo that each star is a different reality–each similar but never the same. She tells him the further you look, the more changes you can find.

Drista slowly finds herself getting more and more attached to the mortals–the way Ranboo just listens to her peacefully and how Tommy can match her chaotic energy to a T. It’s hard for her to not get attached to them. She simply wants to help out her fellow goddess but now she’s just as fond of them as Mumza is. A sigh escapes her mouth. It’s all so perfect, maybe too perfect.

It’s not perfect at all, she reminds herself. The two mortals she finds herself attached to have memory loss. They won’t remember her if she doesn’t stay close to them. The mortals aren’t perfect and neither is she, but they make her happy, and that’s all that matters.

Chapter 8: How to Sex

Chapter Text

Chapter eight: How to sex

How to Sex 1

Entry #1

My name is Tommy, I live in a hobbit hole in the lands of the Greater Dream SMP. I am making this book so I can remember what I’ve done. I think I have memory loss.

I met a girl today and Amnesia was her name. I also met a boy(?) their name was Ron -Ranboo. Both of them were pretty cool if you ask me! We had a lot of fun just dicking around last night, we blew shit up and fell asleep in a flower field. Though it wasn’t pog in the morning. I woke up cold and I was in the middle of nowhere, my entire body was sore from however the fuck i got there and I had a fucking huge headache! Shit wasn’t good. I met Amnesia that morning she was fucking around in the trees or someshit. She confronted me and told me a bunch of bullshit that i didn’t listen too cause -im way too cool to listen to a woman- I didn’t want to ya know fuck that shit. But Amnesia was blabbing away so I told her to just kill me cause I'm like 90% sure I should be dead right now but I GUESS NOT! Nothing I said she listened to anyway cause she just knocked me the fuck out and flew me home. Turns out she’s a fucking goddess! Like what the fuck man. But she's also like my friend or some shit now I guess so I'm friends with a goddess :). She wears a mask with a winky face on it which is weird. I don't know she’s weird so like yeah. The Ranboo guy is fucking weird too but eh i guess thats the type of people im friends with now. The three of us are kinda like family. It's pretty cool if you ask me.

-Tommy :D

Chapter 9: A [Platonic] Marriage

Chapter Text

Tommy opens his eyes with a groan. The light shining into his house is unbearable, the light blinding him temporarily only seems to add to the awful feeling of just waking up.

“Mornin’, Blondie!” A cheery voice speaks from across the room.

“Did you watch me sleep, you fucking creep?” Tommy speaks in a groggy voice.

“Nah, I was too busy burning shit down and giving new weapons to the anarchist pig.” Drista speaks in a relaxed voice as she sharpens a stick into a spear.

“Huh?” He rolls over to meet the eyes carved into her mask. “What’s the stick for?”

Amnesia looks at him with a relaxed smile before speaking in a calm tone, “Stabbing unsuspecting people in the shins.”

Tommy stares at her blankly as his mind tries to process the layers to her joke. When it all finally goes through, a loud burst of laughter sweeps over the room. “Why just the shins?!” The both of them are laughing now, small wheezes falling out of their mouths between laughs.

“Cause it’s funny!” Amnesia is struggling to breathe, “Your laugh is so funny!” Giggles consume her. Something in the back of his mind thinks that this will be the last time he’ll ever see her this happy. The thought seems to slowly break Tommy out of his laughter, the thought stopping him in his tracks.

It takes Amnesia only a second to notice the lack of Tommy’s obnoxious laughter and she takes the moment to question if she said something wrong. “Did I offend you Tommy?”

The blond looks up at her, confused at first but seems to understand her concerns pretty quickly. “Oh no, no, just my brain being a bitch, you know?”

“Ah, that’s right. Sometimes I forget how fucked you are in the head dude.” Amnesia stands up from the floor and stretches out. “Whad’ya wanna do for fun today, Blondie?”

“Uh, I think I made a farm or somethin’ awhile back but it’s just–” Tommy cuts himself off with a sigh as he sits himself up in bed. “It’s all fuzzy.”

“Well, that’s dog shit, isn’t it, but, like, isn’t farming a little lame?” Amnesia hops up and starts to float around on her back. “Don’t cha just wanna fuck around and set some shit on fire?” Her hood falls down as she floats on her back revealing long blonde hair that has been hidden under it since they met.

Tommy just shrugs at the comment. He’s not really feeling up too much today. He just wants to lay in bed all day and sleep away all his issues, or maybe complain about his life all day while doing nothing to change it–just to fuck with Amnesia and make her upset. He falls back onto his bed, wrapping himself back up in his red sheets.

Amnesia lets out a disappointed sigh before yanking the poor boy out of bed and flying them out of that musty ass shack Tommy lives in. “We’re doing something today and that is final, you hear me, Tommy? I am determined to get you feeling better and it doesn’t matter how much you wanna fight me on it. We’re doing something, okay?”

Tommy only grumbles in response to her and lays face down in the grass. He wants to sleep and Amnesia is doing everything in her power to stop that from happening. She even said that she won’t let up on her word.

“Don’t be a little bitch, Tommy, this is for your own good.”

“God, you're like a bitchy wife that I can never divorce.” Tommy's words are mumbled and half-assed, but his point still stands.

“If that's how you see me, then I will live up to my name as best as I can.” Amnesia sits in the grass next to him, thinking about his words before continuing, “And I'm a platonic bitchy wife, right? We're best friends.”

“Of course, I would never marry a woman.” It's spoken with such seriousness, the both of them sit in silence for a moment before Tommy slowly turns his head to meet Amnesia’s eye; the calm before the storm.

“Pfft–” Amnesia breaks the silence, bursting into laughter that causes her to fall back into grass behind her.

“Heh, okay, that didn't come out exactly how I planned–” Now Tommy is laughing with Amnesia, and he rolls over onto his back, holding his stomach as the uneven breathing starts getting to him.

After their laughter begins to die down, Tommy turns towards Amnesia. “I guess you would be one of my best friends, since you're trying so hard.”

“What, like you have some sort of long list of qualifications I need to live up to?” Her tone turns serious, “You trust people way too easy, Tommy! I could kill you by mistake and you would be the one saying sorry.” Amnesia grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers. “Can I give you some advice?”

Tommy understands the seriousness of the situation, and his friend seems eager to keep speaking, so he nods in confirmation.

Amnesia smiles at Tommy's willingness, not that he can see it. “Don't be afraid to get angry. Just in general, at everything. If something hurts you, then it isn't overreacting, and you of all people deserve to feel angry at what's happened to you. I know this is kinda ironic to hear from me, y’know, since I'm always happy and excited about everything, but I do have my moments, just like everyone else.”

“ Really?! ” His voice is laced with sarcasm, so Amnesia flicks his forehead in response.

“Don't be a prick, I'm just trying to help you, Tommy!” Tommy is laughing again, despite the lingering pain in his head. Amnesia sighs, she's gotten nowhere with her original plan. “Listen man, we haven't done anything today, and with where we are now, I don't think we will. But! That doesn't mean we can't hang out for the rest of the day! So, we can do anything you want, but it has to be outside.”

“Aw, you dick.” Tommy looks around him, thinking about what he wants to do before figuring it out. He sits up. “Why don't we make flower crowns!” Before Amnesia can respond, he's standing up and looking for the flowers he wants.

Amnesia takes her time standing up, watching Tommy run around like an excited child. “Y’know, I wouldn't have pegged you as the kind of person to make flower crowns.”

Tommy comes to a halt, making Amnesia giggle. “What is that supposed to mean, Patchy?”

“Nothing! You're just usually trying to be so ‘manly’ 24/7!”

Tommy takes it as a compliment, “I am pretty manly!”

He continues collecting flowers while Amnesia stands in slight disbelief. “That is not what I meant, but alright.”

“Hey there, bossman! How are you two doing today?” A short goat boy gasps as he notices Amnesia, before sprinting up to her and shaking her hand. “Hey! I'm Tubbo, you must be Drista, right?! Ranboo told me all about how you n’ Tommy had lots of fun committing crimes the other day, I just had to meet you!” A cheeky smile is plastered on the short boy’s face so he must like crimes. But Drista? Must be a nickname. Speaking of Ranboo, that's probably the dual colored boy hiding standing behind the goat boy.

“That's me! I'm guessing that you and Ranboo are friends as well?” Amnesia seems so overjoyed to make new friends that she almost starts to radiate sunshine when the goat boy shakes her hand.

“Oh, me and Tubbo are act-actually roommates! W-Well, housemates, if you want to be specific.” Ranboo has peeked out from behind his friend, seemingly more confident when in the radius of the goat boy, who looks proudly at them for speaking up. There's a short pause before the taller continues, “I suppose that doesn't actually answer your question, though. Um, we're best friends, always have been, even before m-moving in together.” The enderman hybrid clutches tightly onto his memory book, staring holes into the ground.

“Well, I think you did a good job explaining it, Boo!” The short boy lightly rubs Ranboo’s arm in comfort, causing his shoulders to untense.

Amnesia smiles at their relationship. They're obviously extremely close with each other; she admires that. Maybe one day her and Tommy can be like them.

Probably not though

A small sigh escapes her mouth, knowing that she doesn’t have the power to change that at all. Tommy glances at her, noticing the sigh. “Somethin’ up?

Amnesia looks up at him “What- oh no, I’m fine. Just thinkin’.” She smiles and giggles some. “Awww, Mr. ‘I don’t like women’ is being nice to me?!”

“Oh shut up! I’m gonna stop being nice to you!”

The two start to bicker like an old married couple. Ranboo stares at the two and sits down in the grass across from them, he doesn’t find any use in trying to stop them. Tubbo glances at Ranboo and decides to sit down in their lap, making himself comfortable. Ranboo flinches at the contact but relaxes as soon as they realize it’s just Tubbo. They cuddle up to him, nuzzling into his shoulder making a faint purr-like noise.

Tommy hears the noise and looks at Ranboo with shock in his eyes. “Is he fucking purring?!” Ranboo tenses and hides from the words, XD why is he such a fucking asshole shit he startled the poor dude.

The goat boy holds Ranboo’s hand to comfort them. “He does that sometimes, just means he’s comfy, ya know.” The goat continues to comfort the taller, look at what you fucking did. The blond falls back onto the ground with a sigh, why must he be a dick.

The moment was peaceful and all parties could finally have a time to rest and converse.

-Timeset sunset-

The group separates from each other, Ranboo and Tubbo head to their shared home holding hands (so Ranboo doesn’t get lost), and Tommy and Drista heading to Tommy’s hut for him to rest for the night. With everyone finally home and ready to rest, Tommy takes out his book ‘How to Sex’ and writes about his day. Tommy finishes writing and sets the book down before snuggling up in the bed and falling asleep with ease.

Drista glances at the book, she knows what it is but she still wants to read it; but she knows the book must mean a lot to him, so she holds back. She closes the doors behind her and leaves Tommy to sleep, heading back to her home, the void.

Chapter 10: How to Sex [entry #2]

Chapter Text

How to Sex

Entry #2

I am Tommy and I might have memory loss. I’m trying to remember by writing, but I’m not sure if it's working. I don’t think it is.

I met a girl, Amnesia was her name, and today we claimed to be platonically married. She’s quite bitchy but at least I have a friend. It's funny though cause I think I’m in love with our friendship. In love with the idea of having someone care. It's fun to feel cared for. To feel safe. I met two other people today, I can’t remember their names but I think one was a goat boy and his boyfriend or something was tall and weird looking. Amnesia made me do shit with her today cause I didnt wanna but whatever. She can be a bitch i guess. Id like it more if she left me alone some days though. I just want to sleep all day some days but I can’t control her, its annoying that i cant tho. Im just trying to get by in this hell hole.

- Tommy :/

Chapter 11: Pay Back

Chapter Text

[CW/TW: Manhandling, physical abuse, intrusive thoughts, mentions of burning personal items, death threats, threatening exile/seclusion, threatening torture/abuse, blood/gore, hair pulling, manipulation, and mentions of arson]

Tommy wasn’t much of a dreamer, but after meeting Amnesia and her goat friend (He would mention the goat boy’s enderman boyfriend–or whatever the hell they are–but Tommy is impartial to him.)? He’s dreaming of the night before, hanging out with his friends and making flower crowns. His new friends managed to make him feel safe and at home. Before Tommy could process his surroundings, there was a hand in his hair and he was thrown out of his bed. He lets out a scream for help, but it’s muffled by a hand, one that’s oddly familiar. It takes Tommy a moment to process why this person is familiar, but he soon realizes that it’s the masked man; he’s back. Tommy has a feeling that he upset this man by doing something in the past, but he doesn’t know what it could be.

“Tommy, stop fucking screaming for once in your life and admit to your faults. You burnt George’s house down...” The masked man spoke, his voice calm despite the obvious rage he felt, before allowing Tommy to fall back onto his bed. Who the hell is George? Tommy knew that he, Amnesia, and that tall guy went and blew buildings up a couple days ago, but they only burned down one house that day, and it had belonged to Amnesia’s brother’s boyfriend or whatever.

Oh shit, that was George, wasn’t it? He had burnt George’s house down, and they didn’t even know each other! Yes, he blew up multiple buildings that day, but in all fairness, he had reasons to get back at those traitors! But blowing up an innocent person’s house only because it was funny for them? He’s starting to realize how much of a jerk he is. Tommy feels like he needs to breathe harder; he needs the ability to breathe in the first place, but it feels as if something is covering his face, suffocating him. Although he’s panicking, Tommy knows that there isn’t anything on his face anymore, so why can’t he seem to breathe?

He can only muster a few words, almost completely lost from the moment, “I-I didn’t know..”

“Bullshit.” The green man spits out, venom in his voice; Tommy knows he doesn’t have much longer before things get worse.

“I thought I killed you, Tommy,” The man grabs Tommy’s wrist and lifts him out of his bed, forming bruises on the boy’s arm, “But here you are still wrecking it all for me! I was going to finally have a perfect life with everything just how I intended! But NO!” He throws Tommy onto the floor, “You had to survive AGAINST ALL THE FUCKING ODDS AND COME BACK TO DESTROY MY PARADISE!!” The masked man sends a kick straight to Tommy’s gut, causing him to scream out in pain. He tosses his mask on the Brit’s bed, revealing his face; the man has green eyes, blond hair and horns, horns unlike the goat boy’s. The horns curled in until they hit themselves, obviously not well taken care of; chains pierced through the tough bone-like structures, with chips scattered along them. The horns are sharp–sharp enough to kill–Tommy hopes they won’t be used. “Tommy,” The man pauses and smiles, flashing his unsettlingly white teeth. “I’m not going to kill you, but I am going to hurt you.”

“Just leave me alone, please.” Tommy’s request only motivates the man to harshly kick the boy in the face. A tooth threatens to fall out with a stream of blood filling his mouth, the metallic taste overwhelms his senses, it feels sickeningly familiar. Tommy lets out a choked sob causing the man to kick him in the neck, making it even more difficult to breathe properly. Thick streams of blood drip from his face, coming from his nose and mouth. He feels like he’s suffocating, the blood now filling his throat somehow. Choking on his own blood and coughing it up, he tries to crawl away, but the man stops him. He grabs Tommy by the collar of his shirt and pulls him up before throwing him against the wall. A sadistic smile is all Tommy can see as he continues to cough up blood onto himself and the floor. A hand grips at the brits hair before slamming it back against the wall. Screams and cries for mercy can be heard, yet no one comes to save him.

Tommy’s body is thrown back onto the floor and fear consumes him. He can’t find himself trying to scream for help anymore, he knows there is nothing he can do to save himself , Amnesia won’t even help him.

“ Finally you’re shutting the fuck up.” Another kick is delivered into Tommy’s gut, a sharp gasp leaving the brits mouth. “I hate the way you sound, so whiney and pathetic. It’d be nice if you shut up more often.” The man puts his mask back on before stomping on Tommy’s face, causing him to let out a weak cry. Blood and tears flow off of Tommy’s face, pooling on the ground beneath him. His head is throbbing so violently it feels like it might explode. Tommy doesn’t remember when it happened, but one of his devil horns was now on the ground in front of him, the cracked stump left behind now causing him more pain.

Tommy thinks that he should be dead by now, but by some twisted result of fate, he’s still lying there in pain. He couldn’t handle it anymore, he just hoped that the man would have mercy on him and let him die, “Kill me! Please just kill me… I don’t want to be here as much as you don’t want me here!”

The man only laughs at the pitiful attempt of begging. “No Tommy, that would be too easy for you. I already let you get away with so, so much.” The mask’s sadistic smile watches him with cold dead eyes, and Tommy knows in that moment that everything was about to get so much worse. “I think instead of killing you, I’ll try something else... something a little different.” The words cause Tommy to worry more than he already is.

The green man walks towards Tommy’s chests, flint and steel in hand, with nothing but spite in his actions, he takes all of Tommy’s belongings and throws them into a pile on the floor.

“I’m going to burn it all. Unless, you’d rather make a deal.” The man turns to face Tommy, smiling at both the distressed look on his face and the sight of Tommy’s beaten face. The fear and pain Tommy feels seems to bring nothing but joy to the older man.

Tommy coughs up more blood, croaking out some pitifully quiet words. “What’s the-“ The brit cuts himself off by hacking up some blood. “What’s the deal?!” Tears prick the corners of his eyes. The world seems to always be testing him, today being the peak of his disdain.

The masked man raises his mask slightly, revealing his sick, twisted, and sadistic smile again. “The deal is simple, really. All I do is exile you from the country! Your stuff will stay right here all safe and sound but you’ll be exiled, never to come back.”

Tommy is taken aback by his plan. What about that is a good deal?! Lose all your stuff or get your home taken away and lose all your stuff, what kind of bullshit is that?! “Why the fuck would I chose that?!”

“Simple, either go to exile, or I burn all your stuff to the ground and torment you for the rest of your life! At least in exile you won’t get beat everyday because I won’t have to punish you.”

Tommy is nearly convinced to choose exile, he’s not sure he’d be able to handle the man beating him everyday, but if he goes to exile he’ll have to start all over again. He just did that! But it’s not like it would change much, he can’t remember shit and the only thing he has to look forward to is Amnesia, but she would be able to follow him; she can fly to him!

The man is now standing over Tommy, looking down upon him, clearly waiting for the boy to decide.

Tommy takes a shaky breath before looking at the masked man, “I’ll do it. I’ll take exile.”

The man adjusts his mask so he’s now able to see one of his eyes and more of his mouth. “Good choice Tommy. Very good choice...”

Chapter 12: How to Sex; Where Did he go?

Chapter Text

How to Sex

Entry #3

Hello, my name is Drista, also known as Amnesia by Tommy, and I am writing this for TommyInnit, as an update if he ever reads this.

Tommy, I believe you have been sent to exile today by the being my brother had created as to control their anger but obviously Dream is not something that is controlled anymore. If you read this and wonder who Dream is, it is the masked man in green. I promise to come visit you soon but, I have something I need to attend to first. I will be sending your brother to keep an eye on you for the time being while I’m away. Ghostbur is kind. I believe he will take good care of you, I hope he doesn’t scare you though, sometimes he can be a little forward and forth-wall-ish, if you catch my drift. That is all! ;D

- DRISTA!

Chapter 13: Ghosting

Chapter Text

Tommy follows the masked man, appearing bloody and bruised, yet no one seems to care. Crusted blood hangs from his lips and nose, his neck and face are black and purple from bruising. Tommy finds himself unable to care anymore; he has gone through so much that he doubts if anything else happens he’d feel it. It seems nothing can snap him back to his old self anymore; it’s pointless. The only way he could escape this feeling–this metal hell–would be to meet the Goddess of Death herself. A soft sigh escapes his lips, it’s the only noise he’s made since his beating.

The green man leads him to a boat off the coast of a country; when he sees it, Tommy can almost feel the name of the land on his tongue, but somehow it doesn’t come to mind. No one is there to wave him goodbye, but to be fair, no one was told he would be exiled. The man tells him some commands; he can’t focus on listening to them but he assumes he’s meant to sit in the boat. The masked man seems pleased with his actions, also getting into the boat, taking over control. The Brit looks anywhere but the masked man and sinks into the back of his seat, unable to grasp his feelings as tears fill his eyes he shouldn’t be crying, he’s showing how weak he is to the man. The boat slowly starts to feel larger around him, only adding to the unreal feeling of the world around him.

The masked man appears further away than Tommy can remember. His eyes go blurry, he can’t tell if it’s the tears or if he’s about to pass out or die . The waves splashing around him only add to the mind-numbing feeling. It’s all moving so, so slow. His head hurts, yet it feels so empty. All he can think of is how he can’t seem to escape this world. Tommy feels as if he's slowly sinking into a hole–although he's aware that it's not real–and his body sinks into a never ending abyss. He looks up towards the clouds, realizing they look so much further away than usual. A sensation of warm wetness slides down his cheeks, he must be actually crying now why is he so fucking sensitive.

The boy looks over the edge of the boat seeing a man in a blue onesie, he has a chaotic energy about him, yet he sits calmly. The man is lying on a beach, seemingly just enjoying his freedom. Tommy wishes he could be like that, and another sigh leaves his mouth before he closes his eyes. Despite his eyes being closed, he still feels himself sinking into a never ending void, his body feeling like it's slowly shrinking as he falls. None of this can be real.

The boat hits land and Tommy snaps back to reality. He lifts his head up, the world still distorted around him. The masked man steps out of the boat, holding it against the shore as Tommy steps out. He looks down at the water below him, his pants and shoes are wet. Another thing wrong with today and another sigh. Tommy walks out of the water, more of his pants feeling like they're dragging him closer to the ground.

His body is heavy but light, his head higher than usual but his feet are shackled planted on the ground. Tommy hopes that Lady Death will drag him far away from here. He feels hollow to the world, slowly making his way to the area in which the masked man is standing.

“Tommy, let’s discuss the ground rules.” The man seemed too calm, it struck a feeling of fear disease, he was wasn’t scared, just unsettled.

“What are they?” He fiddles with his hands, scratching the back of them until it bleeds.

“So willing…" He could almost hear the mans smile, "First, don’t speak to me unless I say you can. Don’t leave this island; if you even fucking dare to so much as go towards exile’s boundaries, I'll make sure that you’ll go through so much hell. Now, no nether travel, the portal is only for me. No valuables, that means only iron armor and tools, nothing more. If anyone comes to visit, I have to be there. Lastly, you can never come back to the Greater Dream SMP, or L’manburg.” The masked man hands Tommy some wool for a tent and goes to set up a nether portal for himself.

“ Tommy? ” A soft voice calls out to him, startling him despite the calm and quiet nature of the stranger.

“Who’s there?!” He feels like he is going insane, he can't find the person. The masked man glances at him, clearly upset by the noise. Tommy silently begs for the man not to hurt him.

“ Up here, Tommy! ” The wispy voice speaks again, creating a small sense of deja vu inside of Tommy. He looks up towards the voice only to meet eyes with a ghost. The ghost had on a yellow sweater seemingly stained with blue dye or blood?, their eyes were grayed, and blue tear stains were engraved into the ghost's translucent skin, how did they know his name?

“Who are you?” He’s confused, how does this ghost know him, he’s never seen this ghost before at least that he remembers.

“It’s me Tommy, Ghostbur! Your brother remember?!” No, he can’t remember. Tommy stares at the ghost, maybe he’ll go away if he looks at him in shock for long enough, now that he thinks about it the Ghost does seem familiar.

“I mean, kinda, but like why are you here?” He’s confused, he doesn’t know anything. It's hard for him to put his finger on it but he remembers something about having a brother.

“I didn’t want you to be lonely…” Then, it hits him. It hits him harder than anything ever could, none of this is real. He’s lonely, all alone and confused, none of it could be real! Just like how he thought of the blue onesie man, he's making this up, too! He has to be hallucinating. He shakes falling onto his knees, why must he be so lonely that it has to come to this? He’s scared to say the least, he’s scared of what this realization will do to him. Pray, he must pray, he's been told about people who are miraculously saved by XD in times of need, so surely XD can fix him, right? No he can’t. He starts to hyperventilate, XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him.

He feels himself sink down into the void, the depths of the never ending hell he lives in. Oh, XD please! XD save his soul, please save him. XD save his soul, please save him. Please, I'll do anything if you help me. XD save his soul, please save him. I'll be a complete believer, I promise. XD save his soul, please save him. I'll pray, I promise. XD save his soul, please save him. I'll pray every day! XD save his soul, please save him. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, PLEASE!! XD save his soul, please save him. I PROMISE, I’LL DO IT ALL, PLEASE JUST HELP ME. XD save his soul, please save him.

Insanity, that’s how Tommy feels right now, purely insane and guilty . He knows he couldn't last a month praying every day. He would forget in the best-case scenario. Tears roll down his cheeks which then drop into the dirt below him. Tommy throws his head in the ground to muffle his screams, his cries for XD to save him… Yet, he never gets saved.

XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why. XD why didn’t you save his soul, please tell us why.

Chapter 14: Hook, Line, Sinker

Chapter Text

Tommy stares ahead of him, having just woken up he’s having trouble trying to focus. He listens to the whispers of the ocean's salty breeze, a chill running down his back as he recognizes the coolness of the sand around him. He rolls onto his side to look out at the water that seems to call him with its whispers. ‘ Come to me, let me embrace you.’ Tommy swears he can hear the words surrounding him. He pushes himself up to approach the water, mesmerized by the moonlight reflections. This would be such a beautiful sight to see as you die.

He stops at the edge of the water, closing his eyes to feel the salty ocean breeze hit his face.

“Tommy?” A familiar voice speaks to him.

He opens his eyes to look towards the voice, “Amnesia?”

Thegoddess was floating idly above the water, cloak flowing with the wind, “Tommy… What are you doing?” Her voice is different, but he’s not sure how, he just knows. He found himself staring at her, trying to find what was different, but nothing came of it. Something must be wrong here.

“I came for a swim, Amnesia…”

“ Are you sure, Tommy? The water gets cold at night,” A shiver runs throughout his body, forcing him to pause his thinking for a moment. Maybe nothing is wrong, and she’s just being curious. “ And to me you look like you’re about to drown yourself.” Her words cause his breathing to hitch, how did she know?

“I’m in your head, Tommy.” His eyes meet hers, panic shakes through him. How is he supposed to get out of this without ending up a guilty prick who doesn’t care about his friend? Giggles fill the chilling moment of silence, Amnesia laughing at his confusion.

“ I’m messing with you, don’t worry about it Smokey Eyes!” The goddess shoves his shoulder a bit too hard, making Tommy cringe at the soreness left behind, “You should know by now that I would never invade your space like that!” Her voice was playful and sweet, like he remembers, but she doesn’t seem to care about his visible pain. Something is wrong.

Tommy takes a step deeper into the water, the icy spray of salt water splashing him in the eyes, the sting keeps him in the moment.

He feels the obvious eyes on him, XD, just say it already. “Tommy, tell me, were you going to drown yourself?”

He almost laughs at the question, that’s all? Isn’t it so very obvious? He wonders if Amnesia will realize how deranged he is if he confesses how humorous the situation is to him. Tommy turns towards the shorter, prepared to make a joke, but as their eyes meet, it all becomes much more serious. His words fail him, is his throat actually tightening or is that his imagination? Tears fill his eyes, Amnesia must think he’s truly selfish to try and do something like this.

“ I could never think that of you, Tommy.” Amnesia places her hand on his, “ Will you try to explain to me why you feel this way, though? I’d like to understand, if that’s alright with you. ”

Tommy momentarily stares at Amnesia before taking a deep sigh of relief and speaking again.

~~~

“Why can’t you just take control of him, just for a little bit? That way Tommy will be okay!” Despite having been at this on and off for an hour now, Drista was still managing to stay calm with her sibling. The same could not be said for XD.

“How can you not understand this, Drista?! I can not under any circumstances take control of my human counterpart, or any number of things could happen! And in those things is him possibly gaining my power or becoming a part of me again! You know how difficult it was for me to find the will to get rid of him, and I don’t think I could ever do it again, nor do I want to!” XD swears that their sister has selective listening when it comes to them because they keep going in circles with this argument.

“I do understand this, and I also understand that the chances of any of that happening are extremely low! So why can’t you just do this for me, XD? I’m asking you to help me make sure my best friend is safe.” As soon as XD sees the pleading eyes staring up at them, they turn away. XD has always been a sucker for their little sister, especially when she used her ‘little sister magic’ on them. But this? This was a different matter– a dangerous matter .

At the sight of XD walking away, Drista used her last option. It’s a long shot, but she would do anything to make sure that Tommy is safe. “Fine! You don’t have to do anything, but if you’re not going to help me, at least allow me to enter Exile.” Halting their movements, XD carefully considers their next words, not wanting to hurt their sister any more than they already have.

“Exile is a dangerous place, Drista.”

“And my best friend is trapped there!”

“Please let me finish.” Drista doesn’t think she’s ever heard her sibling speak so softly; she knows that she doesn’t want to hear whatever’s next. “I know that this is extremely painful for you, I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in either of your situations. But I need you to know that if you go to Exile, you’ll be putting me in the exact same situation you’re in, and I don’t think I can deal with that, ever .” XD’s voice cracks when they mention putting their sister in danger, and Drista’s heart breaks. She knows that she can’t do anything to help Tommy anymore, otherwise she’ll be indirectly hurting the ones who love her. But what about Tommy?

“I’ll take care of Tommy. We might not be able to help him directly, but I can contact mortals who know and care about him to go to Exile and convince my counterpart to stop everything they’re doing.” XD holds their sister’s hands, reassuring them in this plan.

“Okay… But you have to make sure to contact Philza and Tubbo, because I think they’ll do the most for him, and Philza is pretty powerful, so he’s sure to convince your counterpart otherwise.” Drista seems unsure, but in the end, this is her last hope. Her sibling is all she can believe in.

“I’ll be sure to contact both of them. You can go to the Aether tonight while I travel into the Mortal Realm, I’ll probably be there all night since I have to talk to so many people.”

“Can you come get me as soon as you’re done? Just so I know the process has started.” Drista’s voice is much more confident, she can’t wait to see her best friend again.

“Of course. You head to the Aether now, and I’ll prepare to go to the Mortal Realm.” XD turns around and begins walking at a fast pace, but as they hear their sister leave, their pace slows down to a stop.

Philza and Tubbo aren’t contacted that night.

Chapter 15: Prey Must Adapt if it Wants to Survive a Predator

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

A real smile was something Tommy hadn’t felt in months, from what he could remember. It was refreshing only for a moment, before it became terrifying. Tommy had given up, he didn’t want to continue with his life if it involved that crazed neon green fucker.

“Who the hell wears neon green, anyway?” Mumbles slipped from Tommy’s scarred lips, allowing him to think outside of his mind. “Now I gotta live n’ shit.” Well-loved shoes kicked at pebbles in his path as he paced along the dry beach. “All for a fucking demigod. Me, Tommyinnit, knows a demigod, and she wants me to stay alive!” Tommy’s voice became more comfortable, more intense. Anyone who knows Tommyinnit knows that when he’s comfortable, he’s loud. “She wants to be friends with me! Fucking hell.” Tommy stopped pacing. He was done thinking. If he was going to be forced to live, he better live nicer than XD themself.

Trudging into the forest, Tommy got to work on his new plan.

“Now, that’s what I call a ‘ome, innit!” Tommy stared proudly at the wood hut that resembled three different heights in front of him. “Who the hell needs to measure, anyway?”

Stepping onto the uneven dirt floor of his new house, Tommy wasn’t quite sure what to do. He had never been given this kind of freedom before. Well, that’s if you can even call whatever the hell this is freedom.

He sat down, the dirt was softer here than he thought it would be. The sun began to shine through logs of his housing, lighting up the small dirt village Tommy had been mindlessly building while he was thinking.

“XD,” Tommy fell back against the ground in exasperation, “if Amnesia saw me right now, I would be ridiculed for having all this freedom and building a mini dirt village! I should really start learning how to live like a normal person.” Tommy’s words had a moment to set in before he sat up, giving himself whiplash. “AMNESIA! THAT GIRL IS GETTING INTO MY HEAD! I WOULD NEVER SAY THOSE THINGS IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BITCH!!!”

“Normal..imagine me, The Tommyinnit, wanting to be normal. I need to do something about this. There needs to be an intervention! Can I hold an intervention for myself? I’m gonna be honest, Quackers, I don’t know all that much about interventions.” Tommy looked back up towards his newfound duck friend, who couldn’t care less about his conversations, but hey, Tommy had food.

Tommy sighed, turning towards the ocean, “Y’know Quackers, I’ve made the best out of my time here. I made a house, I made a friend, and I’m enjoying the beach that I’m forced to live by. Life is good. But, it just isn’t enough, do you understand? I have all this stuff—and I do love you Quackers—, but I need my human friends too! I need to talk to someone who can talk back.”

Sand crunched behind Tommy, “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here then, mate!”

Chapter 16: Christmas Brings Everyone Together

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

Tommy looks at him and feels like he’s at home, but he has no idea who the man standing in front of him is. He feels very familial, but Tommy is unsure of his family. He’s forgotten so much, it’s hard to trust anything from his past.

“How are you doing, mate?” The man has a cheerful voice and a bright smile, clearly knowing who Tommy is.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Phil! Don’t you remember me?” His smile doesn’t falter, despite the strange question from Tommy.

“I have no idea who you are. Actually, I don’t really know who anyone is nowadays. Heh.” Tommy rubs the back of his head sheepishly, he’s never been so casual about his memory loss with someone before, but he feels that he can trust this Phil guy.

“Funny as always, mate!” Phil plays Tommy’s weird words off, thinking they’re only a joke.

Tommy feels awkward. The only person to visit him in exile has been Dream, who’s to say that Phil isn’t exactly like him? Still, Tommy takes a chance, the only thought in his head being it can’t possibly get worse.

“So, why are you here?” He has no idea why anyone would visit him, much less a stranger who he doesn’t even remember.

“It’s almost Christmas, Tommy! I couldn’t let you celebrate alone.”

“Christmas? But doesn’t it have to be snowing in order for it to count?” Apparently, Tommy’s memory of Christmas hasn’t been lost yet.

“It’s going to snow in a couple days, mate. That’s why I came early, to help you prepare! Now why don’t you go find a tree you like, and I’ll chop it down for you.”

“A tree I like…okay.” He’s only known this man for ten seconds and already he’s being ordered around. Tommy doesn’t enjoy it, but he supposes that it’s better than getting a beating.

“Ay, Phil! I found it!” Tommy’s smile shines brightly as he poses proudly.

Phil feels dumbfounded staring at the puny tree. It hardly had any green on it, being made up of mostly twigs and branches, but Tommy seemed to love it all the same.

“Well then, let’s get it back to camp. Sound good, mate?”

Tommy was shocked with how willing Phil was to celebrate Christmas with him, much less provide for everything needed. He was…happy. “Y-Yeah, sounds perfect.”

Chapter 17: How to Sex

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

Entry #1 Entry #4

So theres this guy, Phil, or whateverthefuck. He just like showed up for christmas?? Im not sure what this guy is getting at, but im not sure i can trust him. besides if he was really that close to me then he wouldve fucking visited a lot more often than just today but hes been pretty alright so ill let him be for now. maybe later ill beat him around a bit, see what hes up to but if hes gonna celebrate christmas with me then maybe ill get a few presents out of him first. yeah, thats what ill do. other than that everything is fine. i miss amnesia

Chapter 18: Happy Christmas?

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

“So, Phil. Why the FUCK are we doing this again?” Tommy shivered in his spot despite the fluffy parka wrapped around him. Phil couldn’t blame him too much, though. The kid was practically skin and bones.

“Tom, I’ve told you that if you want to go back inside that it’s okay. I can decorate the tree myself.” Part of Phil almost wanted Tommy to go back inside; the kid was ruining the tree with how he haphazardly tossed ornaments on, not caring about the look of it. Although he should’ve expected it, what with Tommy picking out a tree made of twigs.

“No! I’m staying out here. I’m not going to back down just because a little snow decided to show up on the day that we’re decorating this tree! Just…why did we have to do it today, man?” Phil wasn’t surprised with Tommy’s demeanor; it was just like him. It was also just like him to make a present for his prized duck, and not Phil.

Phil wasn’t jealous of the flower scarf that Tommy made for Quackers, but he did find it sweet how the boy cared so much for a duck. (Tommy did not find it sweet and proceeded to yell at the older man for thinking he could even have such strong emotions for an animal). Nonetheless, Phil was somewhat proud of his son-like figure. Maybe one day they could truly be like father and son. Phil had always felt so protective over the boy despite Tommy’s struggle with being family oriented (Though, Phil has a theory that it’s quite the opposite), the older man had hoped that they could do better once this exile thing settles down. Until then, he’ll be sure that Tommy knows someone is waiting for him on the other side.

“Y’know what, mate? We’ll take a break. Besides, we could use a bit of relaxation.” Setting down their decorations, Tommy let out a heavy sigh of relief before rushing to follow Phil back to the hut.

“Ayy, did you amigos say relaxation? I might know something about that, man.”

Who the fuck is that?!

Chapter 19: Buenas Noches Prostituta

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

“Ay man why are you looking at me like that? You racist or something? I should report you to the cops, man. They won’t do anything, but it’ll scare you enough to stop staring at a hispanic man!” Despite the words said, Tommy stares dumbfoundedly at the man in front of him, who proceeds to cross his arms and get infinitely closer to the boy, looking him up and down with a raised eyebrow.

Normally Tommy would be able to hide behind whoever else is there, like Phil, but the moment he turned around, hoping for the winged man to intervene, Tommy realized he had disappeared. “Damn you, man I hardly know…”

Tommy turns back around, facing the stranger who now looks at him expectedly. “Um, listen man, I can promise that I’m not racist! Actually, I have a hispanic friend! He taught me something in Spanish that I’m supposed to say if I ever meet another hispanic! How does it go…”

The stranger watches Tommy carefully, anticipating what he’ll say next.

“Oh! It was, buenas noches prostituta!” Tommy’s bright smile doesn’t falter, not even when the stranger looks at him in bewilderment. It’s one thing for the boy to call him a prostitute, but the way he pronounced it? Bwen-ace no-chase prostituta? How is it that the only word the boy pronounced currently was the one calling him a prostitute?

“I need you to never speak Spanish again, man.”

“What?! But I thought I did great! Did you not hear me? I was like a right hispanic, mexican man!” As the stranger walks away, Tommy follows, attempting to prove his talent.

“Mexican man is not my name, cabrón. I think maybe you need a lesson in how to introduce yourself, man.”

“I’m telling you! Buenas noches prostituta! See, I said it perfectly! Buenas noches prostituta. I did it again!!” Tommy continues to follow the man around, much to the man’s dismay.

“Um, why does he keep saying that?” Tommy flips his head around to see a muscular woman about an inch taller than him. Just when Tommy can’t get more shocked, the strange man he was following runs towards the woman before jumping into her arms.

“Mamacita! Save me! It’s a white boy, and he’s trying to speak Spanish!” The man fake cries into ‘Mamacita’’s arms, as the woman becomes very caring towards him.

“Oh, come here. I know what’ll help you!” The woman cradles him in her arms, walking him over to a stray table that Tommy had left behind. She pulls out a small rolled up bag, filled with some sort of green leaves and flakes.

Tommy’s eyes widen, “Woah woah woah!! If that’s what I think it is, you should know that I’m a minor!!!”

Mamacita and the man look back and forth at each other before speaking, “Well, I’m not kicking the child out.”

The man visibly saddens, “Fine, we’ll just build a house so we can have our own space, man!” Immediately the man gets to work, constructing an outline for the walls.

“What the fuck are those?! Those are not walls!” Tommy moves the man's house outline, aligning the walls to look nicer, before standing proudly, admiring his work. “Now those are walls!”

“AY, MAN STOP TALKING ABOUT WALLS!! I DON’T NEED THAT BULLSHIT IN MY LIFE, YOU UNDERSTAND, MAN?!”

Tommy was torn between laughing and apologizing, so naturally, he laughed. “I’m Tommy, but you can call me The Greatest.”

“I’m not calling you that, man.”

“Please?”

“No, man.” The man walked forward, putting a hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “But I will tell you my name. It’s Mexican Dream, man. I’m surprised you didn’t realize this sooner, amigo. You’re not too smart, man.” An arm wraps around Mexican Dream’s shoulders, making him blush as a higher pitched voice chimed in.

“He is right, you know. You’re very childish and not very bright.” Mamacita gave Mexican Dream a kiss on the forehead, making Tommy gag.

“I don’t like you very much, Mamacita.” Just as Tommy glared at Mamacita, Mexican Dream glared at Tommy.

“Ay, man. You talking shit to my girlfriend? Hm? I don’t think you wanna go there, man. You don’t know the things I’ve done for Juan Mendez, and you don’t wanna know. Got it, man?”

Tommy nodded in response, slightly scared of the duo in front of him.

“Good, man. I wouldn’t want there to be any problems between us. Now, help me build our house, man.”

“So MD, what kind of flooring do you want for your new house? I can get you anything.”

“MD? What’s that supposed to mean, man? Mega Dick? It’s pretty accurate–”

“No! It means Mexican Dream! I don’t need to know any of that!” Tommy burst out laughing. He was having more fun than he had expected with Mexican Dream.

“You said you could get me anything, Tomás? I crave the concrete of my homeland. Can you get me that, man?”

“Ah, you want piss floor. I got you, MD. No worries.” Just like that, Tommy started filling in the flooring of Mexican Dream’s house with a deep yellow concrete. Mexican Dream did not complain.

“NO!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, MAMACITA?!!!”

“I didn’t do anything, I swear! I swear!”

“Tomás! Did you or did you not see Mamacita with Juan Mendez earlier, man?! Tell me, man!” Tommy had never seen Mexican Dream this frantic and upset. To be fair, he hadn’t known Mexican Dream very long, but it still gets his point across. He supposed that he owed the man the truth, especially in this situation.

“I did.” It was so quiet, but it was enough. Enough for Mexican Dream to look at Mamacita with betrayal. Enough for Mamacita to fall at the man’s feet and beg for forgiveness. Enough for Mexican Dream to cry as he told Mamacita to go back home to Tijuana, without him.

The first couple days had been rough, but Mexican Dream found a way to cope. He found a new friend. Not such a new friend for Tommy, though. He wasn’t a big fan, at all.

“Ay, ay, papa Tomás, you gotta teach your child some fucking manners–” Mexican Dream was suddenly silent, turning back and forth between Tommy and the arrow pointed straight at the man. “Woah, he’s mugging me, man.”

None of the men could hold back their laughter, Mexican Dream had gotten funnier since he became single. It was a sad situation, but it was a good outcome for the men.

Suddenly, Mexican Dream continued his joke, “He thinks I’m going to allow this man? He’s in the wrong fucking barrio, man.”

The arrow poked against Mexican Dream’s head before pulling back, “Drop the grass block, that’s a valuable here.” Mexican Dream could only stare at his doppelgänger in return.

“Oh yeah?” Mexican Dream pulled out a music player, playing llora at an almost head-hurting volume. “Drop them moves! Let’s go, baby!” The man got impossibly close to Dream, dancing against him.

Dream turned towards Tommy with an uncomfortable look on his face, “I don’t like Mexican Dream. Mexican Dream is weird.”

A long beat of silence stood between the men as Mexican Dream turned to face Dream again.

“Hijo de la chingada madre vas a escuchar, hijo de tu puta madre.” Mexican Dream followed after Dream as he took long strides away, faster than walking, but trying to not seem scared.

“What, wait. What are you doing?! Is he cursing me? Putting a spell on me or something?! I can’t tell!” Dream’s strides quickly turned into a run, but he couldn’t outpace the smaller man.

It didn’t end well for Dream.

“Ay, listen, man, I don’t like this Dream man. He keeps giving me handouts, man! I don’t know that I can stay here for Christmas if he keeps acting like this, man. Can you talk to him? He’s like your father, right? Papa Tomás?”

“MD, we’ve been over this. Dream isn’t my father. He’s basically like my main enemy, actually.”

“Same difference, man. Talk to him, Tomás. For me.”

Tommy sighed. He had a bit of a soft spot for this man. “Fine.”

“Ay, thank you, man!” Mexican Dream began walking away, going straight towards Dream. If you hate him so much then why do you go right to him?

Tommy wouldn’t complain. Well, he would. But not right now. Right now, he’ll watch as Mexican Dream slaps Dream with a piece of raw beef and runs away screaming “That’s for the handouts, man!”

This Christmas will be very interesting.

Chapter 20: How to Sex

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

Entry #3?

i met some new friends. MD and mamacita and the green fuck is here too. i would prefer if dream wasnt here but hes just a dick and shows up whenever the fuck he wants. md and mamacita are good though but i think they broke up? they had a big fight anyway and mamacita is no where to be seen. md seems okay hes laughing and everything but its not hard to tell the man misses his girlfriend. hes very weak not at all like me. i cant busy myself with girls im too good for that theyd only be a distraction in exile. the only girl i can worry about right now is amnesia but shes not here. shed be able to get me out of here. maybe shell come back for christmas though and we can all celebrate and have fun despite the green fucks presence. i think its going to be a good christmas

almost everyone is here

Chapter 21: Chapter 21: We Are All Just Prisoners Here of Our Own Device

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

TW: Blood, verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse, hallucinations, giving a snowwoman boobs, holiday trauma (but what’s new amiright?)

Bright lights, shimmering snow, and colorful decorations were Tommy’s favorite part of Christmas Eve. He was partial to the presents, of course, but the lights were just so beautiful. He wouldn’t tell anyone this though. Maybe Amnesia, but she hadn’t come back yet. Phil was here, and Mamacita had come back to dote on Mexican Dream, hoping to win him back. Dream had been around too, but the man was barely noticeable anymore. Never speaking a word, observing everyone else, occasionally making a jab at Mexican Dream or Tommy, but overall he had been very tame. It almost scared the boy.

He decided not to think too hard about it. After all, almost everything scared him now.

Tommy sat the wrapped box under the tree, he had finally finished everyone’s gifts, just in time. Glancing through the presents, he notices a small jewelry-sized box, addressed to him.

He should walk away right now, but Tommy has never been known for what he should do.

He picks up the box, inspecting it carefully, checking the weight in his palm, shaking it around a bit to hear a small clattering.

“You wouldn’t be sneaking a peak at my present for you, would you, Tommy?” Tommy freezes.

“ Your present…for me ?” The boy turns to look at Dream suspiciously.

The man chuckles, “It’s Christmas, Tommy! Of course I got you a present. How dumb are you?”

“Oh. Well,” Tommy clears his throat, slightly worried about the man in front of him, “thank you, Dream.” The boy flinches when Dream brings his hand up to pat him on the shoulder.

“You’re welcome, Tommy. But you still have to wait until later to find out what I got you. Wouldn’t want to get on the naughty list at the last minute, right? I mean, heaven knows that you deserve it, but it’s the season of mercy! Or was it the season of giving …” Mumbling along before Tommy can respond, Dream is walks away, presumably to mess with Mexican Dream.

“Tommy, come join me!” Tommy follows the voice, seeing Phil next to a sphere of snow on the ground. Phil pats the ground next to him, and waits for Tommy to kneel down with him before continuing with his task.

“I’m building a snowman. Do you want to help decorate it?” Phil opens his hands, showing pieces of coal and a carrot.

Tommy grins, “Only if I can give it boobs.”

“Alright,” Phil’s laugh makes Tommy smile brighter, “a snow woman, then.”

Tommy has no memory of building a snowman in the past, but he seems to be exceedingly good at it anyway. He takes extra care shaping the body, claiming that he will be making his “ideal woman”, and places each decoration carefully, making sure not to ruin the packed snow with the black tint of the coal.

“I’m not sure how I did it, Phil, but I think I’ve created the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen. And I spend a lot of time around attractive women, they flock to me, y’know?”

Tommy isn’t sure why, or even how, but he’s actually enjoyed the day. Although he guesses it’s from the lack of beatings, and the season, of course. Sure, he’s been on edge all day, but seeing everyone so happy? It’s a little contagious.

“Here, Tommy, this is for you.” In Tommy’s hands lay a fairly light box, yet big. He wouldn’t like to admit it, but Phil’s gesture almost makes him cry. Opening the box, the first thing that he notices is the green color, then the appearance of what seems to be hand-knitting. Lastly, Tommy realizes exactly what’s sitting in his hands, a scarf. A scarf so green and made with love that it kind of baffles the boy. Did Phil make this? For him ?

“Well, I guess it’s pretty alright, ain’t it?” Wrapping the scarf around his neck, Tommy stands in a superhero pose, allowing everyone to admire his new accessory.

“Alright, alright. It’s time for Tommy to open my gift.” Dream stands, handing Tommy the small box. Dream stares at him, nodding his head as a sign to get it over with. Unfurling the ribbon, Tommy rips the wrapping off, letting it fall to the ground. How has the snow started to melt already? It’s freezing out. Maybe the lights from the tree were on so long that it melted it all.

Lifting the top of the box, Tommy lets it fall to the ground as well. Inside, a key. A key? Tommy looks up at Dream confused.

“Well, what do you think? Aren’t you grateful?” The man smiles at him, making Tommy impossibly on edge.

“I don’t…get it.” The boy words it carefully, trying not to upset the man.

“God, Tommy, are you always so stupid? It’s a key to your house! You get to go home now. Sometimes you really make me wonder if your brain really is fucked up.” He chuckles, then looks at the others to agree.

“You really are dumb, mate.” Phil joins in, poking at Tommy’s insecurities.

“I’m not sure why anyone would want to be friends with you, especially if they have to explain everything to you, taking care of you like you’re a sick dog. No one deserves that burden of knowing you.” Mamacita’s words echo through Tommy’s head, bouncing against his brain harshly. Does he have a headache?

Mexican Dream stands with Mamacita, looking at Tommy in disappointment. “Haven’t you realized by now? Everywhere you go, you drag along your own personal burden. No matter what you do, you ruin everyone’s lives. I can guarantee that we would all be so much better off if you weren’t here. If you never existed.”

“If you were dead.” Dream adds on.

Tommy cries, he’s crying? Staring at all the people he had grown close to. He waited. Waited for someone to shout, “Just kidding!” or admit it was all just a cruel joke, that they were just testing him. He waited. And waited. Before he ran.

Running, running home, running anywhere he felt safe. But I don’t even remember my home, how can I feel safe there? Safe seemed like a made-up word, like it was just some construct that he created in order to feel better about himself. He couldn’t feel safe, nowhere, nothing would make him feel safe.

His feet pad on the ground, a wet sploch resounding through his ears with every step he took. Wet, wet , the ground was wet. Were his feet melting the snow beneath him? No, he was too cold to have melted anything. But why was the ground wet? There’s no snow. No snow to comfort him, no snow to remind him of a holiday that he can’t even remember the name of, no snow to numb his hurting feet, running on tiny, sharp rocks. Rocks?

Blood. He fell? Blood streaming down his face, mixing into tears. He was crying. It stings. The truth stings. No, that’s his face that stings. Why does it sting? Hurt. Why does it hurt? His face. Oh god, his face. Tommy feels it. He feels the way his feet slip on the grass beneath him. He feels the way the air pushes past him as he falls. Face. He feels the way his face cracks against the rock he landed on. He can feel it. He feels the bones of his nose shatter in just a single moment. He feels.

He wishes he couldn’t feel.

Chapter 22: Chapter 22: Living it up at the Hotel California

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

-CW// Physical and verbal abuse, panic attacks, derealization, hyperrealization, mentions of suicide, manipulation, blood, throwing up, overstimulation, hallucinations, head trauma/concussion//-

No one prepared him for this. For the aching in his heart that almost hurts more than his face. But it aches. Everyone was gone. They left. Left him. How could anyone love him? It simply isn’t possible. Not even his hallucinations could make him feel loved. No longer winter, althoughhe supposes that it never really was winter, was it? The rocks in his feet and knees were no use picking. All the snow water had made the rocks feel even worse. Salty water would do that. It was the one thing that was real for him.

He had figured it out. What was and wasn’t real. The rocks in his feet, real. The winter and holiday, not real. Him slipping and fucking up his face, real. His friends, Dream, not real. The key, finally letting him go home, not real.

Exile can take a toll on a kid. It can take a toll on anyone, really. Especially with the terms that the masked man set. His items were taken from him, burned to a crisp, and there was no leaving this place, he could only go as far as what hasn’t been discovered, but the issue is, Tommy can’t remember what has and hasn’t been discovered anymore. The masked man was visiting every day, telling him what would happen if he went into claimed territory (he would promptly be killed), but always reassured him that he was ‘doing an okay job for a worthless kid’. Despite the harsh words, it still felt nice to hear praise in a place where no one else talks to him. He missed everyone. Occasionally, the man would hit or kick Tommy in order to teach him a lesson that something he did was wrong, but for most of the visits, the masked individual showed up in an overall good mood.

Today was different. How long had he spent in his hallucinations? Tommy knew something was wrong when the man didn’t show up at dawn as he usually did, but he wasn’t prepared for the man to punch him on sight. Adding pain to his pain, he supposes.

“WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!” Tommy is laying on the ground now, holding his jaw in pain.

“You just had to burn down George’s house, didn’t you, you little fucker?! Well now he’s mad! And not at you anymore! At me ! For ‘mistreating’ you, or whatever the fuck he called it.” He’s holding onto the front of Tommy’s shirt now, lifting him slightly off the ground.

“Listen man, I don’t know what issues you have with your friend, but quite frankly, I’m not interested in all that shit, you got me? I just want to live out the rest of my exile days peac-” The masked man punches him again, and again, before shoving him back into the dirt, and standing up. Now Tommy’s starting to panic a bit, because the man has never hurt him this bad, to his recollection.

“You caused this! You have been nothing but an inconvenience to me, Tommy! Don’t you see? Even when in exile, you’re still a pain. In. My. Ass.” Was it all real? The last four words each paired with a kick to Tommy’s torso, and now he’s definitely panicking, and his breath is stuck in his throat, everything around him is moving too fast, another kick to his stomach, he wants to throw up, a kick to his chest, and the pain makes him want to cry. Of all times to disassociate, now would be a good time, but it all feels too real. Tommy can feel everything around him, too much of everything. The pebbles on the ground poke into his arms ever so slightly, his clothes are clingy and suffocating, the material is rough on his skin, and the metal of the man’s shoe is tearing through Tommy’s shirt and skin, but the man doesn’t care. He’s only laughing at Tommy’s pain.

Tommy hasn’t been able to cry since he got into exile, but now he’s crying. He can’t tell if it’s from the situation or the pain, but if the man wasn’t mad before, he certainly is now.

“God, you’re such a fucking weakling, Tommy. Can’t handle a little punishment? Too fucking bad. You deserve this for everything you’ve done to me.” Tommy can’t remember what he’s done to the man, but it must’ve been pretty bad to deserve this. He can’t imagine what crimes he’s committed and how many people he’s hurt in order to get here in life. He feels so..guilty?

“I’m sorry.” It’s only a mumble, it’s all he can get out right now. He’s crying uncontrollably, can you blame him?

“You’re sorry, Tommy?” The man stops kicking him to pick Tommy up onto his feet, and he stumbles as the man drags him over to a nearby tree, “SORRY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!” and he slams Tommy into the tree, head first. If Tommy makes it out of this alive, he’s sure he’s going to have brain damage of some sort. “I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT GRACIOUS TO YOU, TOMMY! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!” The man tosses Tommy on the ground and straddles him before striking him in the face, over and over again.

Now Tommy feels even worse, both guiltily and physically. What did he do to the man? He thought he was doing okay, staying in the boundaries of exile, following the rules, playing nice, but now he’s being hurt by the one person who was talking to him, and no one is here to help him. Why was no one saving him? Tommy can’t tell if he’s struggling to think at all or if he’s thinking too much, but the only thing he can make sense of is the one word being repeated by…himself??

“Amnesia..” Another punch to his face, “Amnesia, please..” Although blood is making its way into his vision, Tommy can see a cloaked figure standing behind the masked man. He quickly realizes that it’s his friend, Amnesia, and his crying quiets down a bit, breathing still extremely uneven, and he attempts to reach towards her, asking for an escape from the man above him.

The man stops punching Tommy to stand up and look in the direction of his hand, finding nothing there. He turns back to the boy, chuckling. He wasn’t oblivious to the mental issues Tommy presented, if anything, they made it that much more entertaining for the masked individual.

“Y’know, Tommy,” The man grabs Tommy’s hair and drags him into an open area before dropping him onto the hard ground, “if you still believe in the gods above, this would be the time to get on your hands and knees and pray to them. Better yet, why don’t you just beg me for forgiveness instead? I am practically a god. I have all the power.” The man has squatted down to Tommy’s level now, and although Tommy was on his hands and knees, he felt as if he couldn't move. Was amnesia not here? Who did he see, then? Where did they go? He feels nauseous, and his crying gets worse. “Didn’t you hear me, you idiot? Start begging.” The man is starting to get tired from lack of response, and sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. “Hm? Tommy, I really don’t have the patience for you today. I have much better things I could be doing right now, but you always seem to mess that up for me. Why is that, Tommy?” The man grabs him by the jaw and lifts his head up, making eye contact with the miserable looking boy. The man tilts his own head, awaiting an answer, but Tommy can’t talk, he can only cry.

A harsh smack lands on Tommy’s face, “ANSWER ME!” Tommy was hunched over now, not even focusing on the masked man anymore. He was going to be sick. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, and before he knew it, he was spewing out everything in his system, leaving a mess on the ground. But once he started, he almost couldn’t stop, and the man watched, unamused, until Tommy was dry-heaving. When he’s done throwing up all he could, he rolls onto his back, crying out in pain as both sharp and dull pains course through his entire body. His eyes follow the masked man as he walks around Tommy, worried what he could possibly do next.

“God, you’re so fucking pathetic, Tommy.” With a loud sigh, the man kicks his shoe in the dirt until the blood is gone. The dirt is kicked at Tommy. “You can never just take it like a man, can you? No.. You have to be weak, never put up a fight.. you could at least make it fun for one of us! Do you think I like being the bad guy, Tommy? I don’t enjoy having George mad at me y’know! But come on , you’re just asking for it, always being so fucking annoying and clingy, ruining my day, ruining everyone else’s day! Maybe next time you feel like acting out, you should actually think about what you’re doing before you start being a bitch. Ever think of that, Tommy?”

At this moment, Tommy knows he might very well be done for, but if he doesn’t move, there isn’t as much pain, so he stays completely still, and he doesn’t speak. He doesn’t want to anger the man even more by staying silent, but he has no idea what words could set him off. It’s also become very apparent to Tommy that there is something seriously wrong with himself, something more than just struggling to remember anything, and his view on the man before him has changed. Earlier, he had thought the man was one of his only friends, and although Tommy obviously did something in his past to beckon the man to hurt and berate him, he thinks that if the crimes he commited were that bad, he should’ve been killed by now. He’s starting to think that maybe the man was going a little overboard with his punishment, possibly even taking advantage of the boy.

Mad. Tommy feels mad. Overwhelmingly mad. His tears of pain are now tears of pain and anger. Normally, the eccentric teen would act out on his feelings, but he doesn’t want to know what the man would do to him if he were to even make so much as a sharp comment.

Yes, he’s mad, but he’s also terrified of what power the masked man holds over him.

The man scoffs at Tommy’s silence, “Whatever. I’m leaving. If George visits, tell him we resolved our issues. Got it?” There’s a netherite sword at Tommy’s throat, and for once, he feels calm. What if the man just drags that blade against his throat, smooth and easy? Or maybe he would decapitate him completely, one big downward swing, and it would be over. Hm. Thoughts for later, Tommy supposes. He can’t bring himself to speak, so he just nods quickly. Even an easy movement like nodding sent pain through his body.

The man sighs, “Good enough. But if George visits me and starts bitching about how I ‘didn’t treat you right’… my next visit, I won’t be so merciful. Really, Tommy, just don’t do anything that’ll force my hand, and we’ll be fine. Like I said earlier , I don’t enjoy being the bad guy, so don’t make me the bad guy, and we can all live in peace!” He puts his sword back and begins to walk away, and Tommy hears him mumble something under his breath, “You’re such a fucking waste of time and space..” Tommy watches angrily as the man walks away before using an ender pearl out of sight. He continues to look around him for a couple minutes with as little movement as possible, trying to confirm that the man is gone, before deciding that he had truly left.

And for the first time today, Tommy felt safe.

Chapter 23: Chapter 23: Such a Lovely Place, Such a Lovely Face

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

-CW// Flashbacks, panic attacks, verbal and physical abuse, blood, throwing up, manipulation, head trauma/concussion, hallucinations //-

Waking up, Tommy’s eyes felt glossed over and puffy, face spotted in sand. He’s felt better. He doesn’t know what to do anymore, vaguely remembering the beating he took just a few hours ago; he doesn’t think the masked man will be returning any time soon. Looking around, Tommy realizes he’s alone on the beach, and for once, he feels relieved.

He doesn’t want to move, but the tide gets closer and closer and he doesn’t think it to be wise if he got water in his already infected-looking wounds; the sight makes him feel nauseous. The tide moves closer, and Tommy rushes to stand, taking a step before immediately collapsing in pain. He hadn’t completely forgotten what happened the day before, but he certainly underestimated how bad he was hurt. He decided that crawling might be an alternative, but soon realized how much work it would be, so he stood back up, and his vision went blurry. He couldn’t have stood up too fast, he took his time; unless maybe he’s just that dehydrated.

“Stop crying, Tommy, it could be worse.” What’s happening to him? Tommy feels a faint pain in his chest, “You could be dead instead!” The voice is so much louder, “Or maybe you do want that!” The pain in his chest is overwhelmed by the addition in his side, he almost hears himself whimper. “Maybe I should kill you, Tommy! I mean, come on, at this point, you really are asking for it! No one could say I wasn’t merciful, because I’d only be listening to your final wish!”

He’s confused, so very confused at what’s going on. He could’ve sworn that Dream left. Tommy knows something is wrong because he can’t see what’s happening; or maybe he just closed his eyes.

“SHUT UP TOMMY!” The screaming is starting to give him a headache, “God, you’re so fucking annoying!” Normally, loud noises don’t affect Tommy he’s a loud person himself , but his head is pounding with every word he hears. “You know, nobody cares about you.” He doesn’t feel safe anymore, did he ever feel truly safe? “You’re just an annoying child with no fucking life left!” Laughs echo in Tommy’s head, surrounding and attacking him. But they stop with no hesitation, and the voice is quiet, but it all still hurts. It hurts so bad . “So why don’t you just do it Tommy?”

It hurts to breathe, his lungs hurt, and there's a large pressure in his chest. He's so confused, he can't remember how he got here. Although, to be fair, he can’t remember a lot of things right now. Is he drooling? No, whatever he feels is a bit thicker than that. Blood? Tommy doesn't remember why he's bleeding, but it must've been bad if it's streaming as fast as it feels.

“Kill yourself! No one will miss you.” The laughing starts again, pounding at his head until he can't take it anymore. “Finally shutting up, thank god.” The laugh becomes hysterical, “You know, I’m getting really sick of you Tommy! I think it’s time I shut you up for good.”

When Tommy opens his eyes, he’s on the ground again, huddled in a ball. He feels oddly calm, yet as he thinks of what he saw, he starts to lose his undisturbed demeanor. Tommy slowly unfurls from his position on the ground, sitting up against weak arms.

What the hell was that?! Did he just remember something from his past? No, it couldn’t have been a memory; surely he would remember such a traumatic event, right? Which means he must’ve been daydreaming. Yeah, that sounds right.

With each thoughtful reassurance, Tommy begins to regain his breath. His mind feels like it’s running a thousand miles a minute, but somehow he manages to bring himself to peace; or at least what he thinks peace feels like.

Tommy’s peaceful moment is interrupted by sobbing–his own. Pathetic. Laying on his back, he felt powerless to do anything but cry. But it hurt, fuck it hurt. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what was wrong, with the stinging in his eyes, sharp pain in his temple, and the strange vertigo he can’t seem to shake. His busted nose doesn’t seem so bad now.

He crawls. Crawls anywhere, anywhere he can get to with his limited movement. He doesn’t know where he’s going, hell, he can barely see because his eyes are so swollen. He goes, and he doesn’t stop until he can’t even move.

Well, it looks like Dream got what he wanted. Tommy is in constant pain, almost like he’s being tortured, even when Dream isn’t fucking there.

Tommy blacks out before he can remember where he is.

Chapter 24: Chapter 24: How to Sex

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

How to Sex

Entry #2? 1?

I met a girl today. Amnesia was her name.

Chapter 25: Chapter 25: The Edge

Chapter Text

TW: I mean come on, yall know what to expect at this point.

Tommy found himself awake, watching as the rain poured down and leaked into his shelter. What did he do to deserve all of this? He had done nothing but respect the masked man and tried everything in his power to right his wrongs, he didn’t want to suffer anymore. The blonde pushed himself out of his shelter letting himself get soaked in the pouring rain, no one had cared to visit him, not even Amnesia, she was so kind to him and yet she didn’t care to show when the green man hurt him. A small sigh left the brits mouth as a small sense of disappointment washed over him from the lack of the preppy girl. Even his own hopes seemed to vanish as he felt the last few memories of her fall to the back of his mind, never to be thought of again.

Tommy gathered all of his building blocks and headed towards an open spot within the bounds the green man had set. The blonde slowly built himself up a tower block by block, careful not to slip off the tower too early. Once high enough Tommy placed his belongings carefully at the top.

“Amnesia, if that was her name, I’ll miss you.” Tommy steps off the tower, falling to his death, lady death’s arms wrap around him holding him close after he had hit the ground. Death was dark and empty but warm, she held him safe within her arms, yet another son to hold, but not another left to walk the land of the living. Tommy was finally safe, Tommy was finally free, he could finally rest.

Chapter 26: Chapter 26: You Can Check Out at Any Time You’d Like, but You Can Never Leave

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

Why is he still here? It seems so hard to believe that he had some sort of purpose other than to suffer in this world.Tommy thought it might be useful to end it for the sake of himself and others. ‘It’ meaning something Tommy didn’t know. He always saw himself as a fairly intelligent kid, and obviously he wanted to end his life, but he wasn’t quite sure what his life meant; or any life, for that matter. Tommy thought that maybe by jumping off of his tower would help him understand it better. People always say that curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back, right? So, by that logic, it kind’ve goes hand in hand.

Although, Tommy was neither a cat, nor curious about dying (quite the opposite, actually), and there was nothing satisfactory about his exile or his means of escaping it. Tommy vaguely remembers being told that his curiosity would kill him some day, but if he doesn’t ask the questions, he will never know the answers. There is only a boy who wanted to know the meaning to life at his lowest, who wanted so badly to survive the masked man, to kill him and put an end to this all, intact, and did not.

The lone and level sands stretch far below him, surrounding him, and Tommy wonders if he’ll fall right through it, and into the ground, like quicksand, like people do in movies.

The wind dies down, and there is a peaceful silence at the top of the tower. He looks up at the glowing moon, full on this particular night, and it makes him smile. Tommy swears that the moon adorns a smile back, and it now makes him frown with uneasiness. He should hurry this up. If he was going to jump, now might be the perfect time. Tommy stands from his spot, and walks to the edge of his dirt tower. He’s never been afraid of heights, in fact, when he looks down below, the sides of his mouth curl up in a soft smile again; if he was going to be afraid of anything right now, it was dying in general. Tommy isn’t sure how many lives he has, but from what the masked man has said to him, he’s pretty sure that he only has one life left. He probably shouldn’t be thinking about it too much, he might manage to second guess this entire decision if he thinks too hard right now. He just needs to get this over with, and it should be fine in the end, at least, that’s what Tommy hopes will happen.

“Tommy?” His stomach drops. He didn’t realize that at any given moment, his friend, Amnesia, could appear right in front of him. Now he felt bad. “What are you doing here?”

“I.. Well, you see-” He chuckles nervously.

“Were you going to jump?” She doesn’t seem hurt by it, in fact, she seems more curious than anything else. She’s doing somersaults in the air, actually, appearing unaffected by the idea completely. It makes Tommy feel better, knowing that this doesn’t hurt her feelings; his decision wasn’t personal, after all.

“Well, I suppose, yeah. I just, I didn’t really want to deal with that man coming over again. I just, I don’t think I can handle that, and I just would much rather die by my own hand than his, ya know?”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“This is all I have left.” Tommy’s voice cracks and he quickly wipes away his tears. Truthfully, he’s not sure if this is the right thing to do, but Tommy knows that he wants to go through with it.

“Well, okay! If you’re really sure that you want to do it, then I say that you’re mature enough to make your own decisions. It seems like you’ve thought about this for a while, and pretty thoroughly. I’m proud, Tommy.” She’s laying on her stomach in the air, playing with a ball of energy she created, feet kicking behind her.

“I’m older than you, ya know.”

“Only in human years.” Amnesia notices the lack of response from Tommy being uncommon, “What’s wrong?” She seems genuinely concerned now.

“Uh, well, I don’t know, I guess I’m just, scared of dying? Like, not being in pain or anything, just like, I’m only like 90% sure that I’m on my last life and what if I’m not high up enough? I know I’m at max building height, but I think I remember hearing stories about lucky people who like, went skydiving or something, their parachute didn’t open, but somehow they lived, ya know? But what if that happens to me and I get paralyzed or some shit like that? I don’t want to be stuck like that for the rest of my life with that masked fuck beating the shit out of me whenever his friend gets mildly upset with him!”

“Tommy, you don’t have to worry about it, I’ll jump with you!” Amnesia is standing up on the tower with him now, her hand outstretched for his own, a bright smile on her face. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Really? You’d jump off with me? But you can fly, so wouldn’t you just live either way?”

“Well, it’s honestly more to just comfort you, but if you’re upset with that, I don’t have to-”

“No! I’m actually really thankful that you would offer to do that to help me out. So, if you don’t mind,” Tommy intertwines his own hand with Amnesia’s, “I would like it a lot if you did jump with me. Even though you’ll live.”

Just for a moment, Tommy feels a sense of deja vu as the two of them laugh together, before his hand tightens around hers.

“You have to promise me something, Amnesia.”

“Anything for your last wish, Tommy.” He feels like he’s heard those words before. Tommy decides that he doesn’t want to think about it when an uneasy feeling settles in his stomach.

“If I live somehow, you need to kill me. In any way possible, I don’t care if you have to rip me apart limb-by-limb and make it as painful as possible, I just don’t want to die to that masked man, please Amnesia. Promise me.” Tommy might be crying right now, but he doesn’t feel like admitting to that before he dies. Tommy would much rather die being known as a brave kid than someone who cried as his best friend promised to kill him if they needed to.

“I promise.”

Now it’s all up to Tommy to decide when they’re going to jump, but he just needs a moment, one moment to comprehend his life and why he’s doing this, how he got here, and he wonders when he became this way. When the switch flipped in him to the point where Tommy knew he needed to do this, and he honestly can’t remember. He can’t remember a lot anyway. Now Tommy thinks he knows why he’s truly doing this, and he looks at Amnesia, then the ground below, then Amnesia again, and he squeezes her hand ever-so-slightly. She simply nods her head in understanding.

This…

This is where Tommy and Amnesia jumped off of the dirt tower. Together.

As soon as Tommy fell, he could see further past the dark clouds, it must be about to rain, and he saw the sand covering the ground, so far below him, that he honestly didn’t worry about not dying anymore. And there was water, water everywhere. Tommy thought this was actually a really nice view for his last moments in this world. The ocean was half of his vision, the water was just barely rising as the waves crashed against each other, forcing more water towards the beach.

Why is he still here?

This is the revelation, isn’t it? The scene in the movie where everything starts to go uphill, the day the world begins to right itself because of one great sacrifice.

But the world never changes for the greater good. Instead, those who mourn will suffer only a little bit, just to make others suffer even more, because they don’t understand. Tommy always believed that you could never understand life until you die for good. But it’s always much too late for repentance then. You can never go back, nor forward. You can only be forever stuck in the present. Tommy understands that now. He also realizes that he was wrong, beforehand. You can understand life before dying for good. But you will never find the meaning until you are staring death in the eyes, face to face, with your sword drawn. And he’ll be damned if he isn’t staring her in the eyes, challenging her to a battle right fucking now.

But he kept falling, and the air was almost violent with how it shoved against his body, and soon Tommy was turned around, facing the top of his dirt tower. He felt graceful whilst dropping through the sky, but he soon realized that at some point, he had let go of Amnesia’s hand, or maybe she had let go of his? And then he saw her.

Amnesia was still standing at the top of the tower, looking down at Tommy, watching him in amusement. Was this her plan all along? Become his friend, watch as he gets constantly tortured by the masked man, wait for his breaking point, then watch him die alone? You know, with how the man treated him, Tommy wouldn’t be surprised if he was so gullible that he blindly trusted a demigod who was out to get him.

Oh well. I guess it’s too late to be complaining now, huh?

He doesn’t feel as betrayed as he thinks he should whilst looking at Amnesia. He feels like he should be yelling, screaming, even crying in frustration, something . But honestly, he just wishes his friend was still holding his hand. He already misses her; she was so caring towards him throughout the entirety of their friendship, and at least she was kind enough to visit him in exile. Tommy supposes he should at least be grateful for that, he was pretty lonely during his stay here.

He’s getting closer to the ground now, and he’s still not afraid. Tommy supposes that’s a good way to go.

But then, like a CD, Amnesia’s figure cracks apart, fractures into pieces, and shatters. All the components of the demigod, each segment frayed at the edges, travel towards her stomach, until Tommy sees a hand coming through it, then an arm, then a torso, and then a body, the body of, Amnesia? But she’s panicked, and she’s crying, and she yells out for Tommy, but it’s far too late now.

Tommy just hopes that demigods can visit heaven.

Chapter 27: Epilogue for Alternate Ending: Man Am I The Greatest

Chapter by CherryChapstick54

Chapter Text

It was difficult to tell what had happened on that day. It had started off as a simple day, even boring. Usually, these types of days would all blend together, making it difficult for Drista to keep track of time, and she would forget all about the events of her days. Today, however, was different. This day would forever be etched into her head, no matter what she would try, the picture of the tower, the lightning, and his body lying motionless on the ground would be burned into her brain. And yet, she had no idea it was going to happen.

Drista had just been relaxing in the void, a typical day off, when XD had made a sly comment about what was going on with her dear friend, Tommy. She was aware of the boy’s mental struggles and where he was, but she had never gotten the chance to tell him that she was restricted from the lines of exile until she gained full control of her powers. She was still working on it, admittedly.

To be honest, Drista always believed that rules were made to be broken. So, she went into exile, much to her brother’s dismay. They put up quite the fight to try and make Drista stay in the void with them, using their strength and power against her; but if there was one thing that XD seemed to always forget about their sister, it was that she was the goddess of mischief. Drista never really liked using her powers against her brother, but with how much time she had been wasting fighting them, it had become a life or death matter.

Drista made a quick escape from her brother and the void, and made her way to the smp. The more she thought about Tommy, the more panicked she became; what if she was too late? The more worried she became, the more the sky seemed to darken, looking as if it was about to rain. Drista was flying through the air, trying to reach exile as fast as she could. Eventually, she couldn’t handle flying anymore, with all the thoughts in her head, it just seemed too slow, she would have to use her powers to teleport there.

As Drista teleported to the top of Tommy’s dirt tower, an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach, and she felt extremely overwhelmed by anxiety. She opened her eyes, standing on top of the tower, before her mind comprehended the flash of red and white disappearing in front of her.

Now, this part was the most difficult to remember for Drista. It went by so fast, she didn’t really think about it before it happened. But, she remembers clearly trying to follow Tommy off the tower, running right off the edge, knowing she wouldn’t die. And she remembers the look of shock on Tommy’s face when he saw her there, like he didn’t want her to see him die; that’s understandable enough, she thought. Drista also remembers yelling–scratch that–screaming of Tommy’s name. Although, she can’t seem to think of anyone else who was there to be screaming, was it her who was screaming for Tommy? And there was rain. Rain everywhere, pouring over the entire smp, and if Drista didn't know better, she'd say that the ocean was slowly starting to flood.

Drista isn’t sure if her mind simply blocked it out altogether, or if too many things were happening at once, but she always draws a blank at this one part. The part where Tommy hits the ground. Normally, a person would be happy to not remember that part, but Drista had an issue with this. Right after Tommy had fallen, she had quickly realized that she was also falling, and no longer flying. She had used most of her power to get to exile in the first place, and now that she was practically flying towards the ground at full speed, she was in a bit of a panic, to put it lightly. How could she forget the part where her best friend hit the ground?

Drista never thought about death; she had never needed to. She had always seen herself as immortal, the same as her brother, but in this moment, she realized the clear difference between them and her–the difference that he actually was an immortal and she was simply lucky to have a brother so strong to protect her–and she was afraid. Afraid of losing her powers; after all, they're what make her personality complete, for what would she be if not a goddess? But Drista doesn't think she could ever be afraid of death, considering she grew up with stories of the afterlife from Kristin, and she knew that it would be okay in the end, rather, she was afraid of losing everything. She was afraid of losing everything, but it seems she’s already lost it right in front of her. But now that arms were wrapped around her and she was being pushed out of the way, she was not going to be okay.

“What the fuck, XD?! You use your unlimited power to save me, and you couldn't spare me the pleasure of a soft landing?!” Drista is standing up at the speed of lightning, and marching towards her brother, readjusting her mask into place before shoving the powerful god backwards; they let it happen. The younger quickly realizes what happened, and she nearly gets whiplash turning around to face the motionless body of her best friend.

Drista runs to Tommy (Is this even Tommy anymore?), her feet sink into the sand with every step, dress sticking to her skin from the rain, and she falls to her knees at the side of her dead friend (is he even dead?).

“..Tommy?” Her voice cracks, she's almost afraid to touch him, like if she sets her hand on his chest, it’ll mean he’s really dead. Drista isn't sure if she's ready to know that.

“He's gone, Drista. He's dead.” XD sets their hand on their sister's shoulder, a rare sign of comfort from the god, but Drista can't hear it; she doesn't want to.

The younger takes her cloak off and sets it over Tommy’s chest, trying to keep him warm in the pouring rain. “Tommy, I think this is the time to wake up. You need to stop whatever cruel joke this is and wake up, please.” Drista watched Tommy’s face carefully, trying to see if he was having any reaction from her words.

“Drista, he's dead. I don't know why you didn't understand me earlier, but he's not coming back. He fell from 255 blocks, which would've killed you if you hadn't been so stupid and used all your energy, so come on; we're leaving.” XD grabs Drista’s arm, pulling her back from Tommy.

“NO! LET GO OF ME!!” XD steps away from their sister, shocked by her outburst, and turns to leave; if she’s going to freak out like that, she can do it alone. As they start walking away, they notice the thunder getting more frequent and the lightning gets closer to exile. XD is stopped by a hand on their arm.

“Stay. She’ll need you here.” The goddess of death is standing beside them, a sullen look on her face. XD figures that it makes sense, she did just lose her second child for the second time. That must be how Drista feels. They always told her to not get close to the mortals, and now look at her. She almost died because a mere boy with amnesia wanted to escape a demon.

“Tommy, Tommy, please. Please wake up! You have to wake up!” Drista shook Tommy’s shoulders, lifting him slightly off the ground, but his head lolled back along with his arms. If this was a joke, he was playing it out believably.

“Alright. I’ll stay.” XD was starting to realize how much this affected their sister; she just didn’t seem to get it. She refused to listen, but they knew she’d need someone there to comfort her once all is said and done.

“TOMMY! THIS ISN’T A FUCKING JOKE! WAKE UP RIGHT NOW, OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL MURDER YOU!!” Drista slams her hands down on Tommy’s chest in an attempt to wake him up, or to hurt him for scaring her this badly, maybe both. The thunder and lightning is surrounding the both of them now; are her emotions controlling it? No one would be able to see the tears on her face with the mask and the rain pouring down, mixing together, but Drista can feel the warm stream of water going down her face. She can also feel the soreness of her throat from screaming, but that doesn’t stop her.

“WAKE THE FUCK UP, TOMMY! WAKE UP, PLEASE! JUST–PLEASE!! TOMMY! WAKE-WAKE UP!! WAKE-Wake..” Drista stops slamming her hands on Tommy’s chest, she’s realized that it makes no difference anymore. “Wake up.” The weather goes back to only raining, and it’s all she can do to not continue screaming, to not kill everyone on this smp for allowing him to die, for not seeing the signs.

But she didn’t see them either. She knew he had amnesia and that he was suicidal. But she thought he was fine now, that they had fixed his issues together. Now look at them; what a sight.

“Drista..” XD is standing behind her again, this time they intend to comfort rather than leave her alone.

Drista turns her head and looks up at her brother, “Fix him.”

“What?”

“Fix him. Please. You can bring him back, right? So, bring him back.” Her voice is broken and soft, a contrast to her usual personality.

“Drista, I’m not going to do that.”

“Why not? It was fine the first time he was brought back, so just bring him back again. It’ll be fine, I’ll take care of him and make sure that no one hurts him, I’ll stay in the smp if I need to.” Drista was starting to get upset with her brother. Why wouldn’t it work out the second time, especially if Tommy had a deity watching over him?

XD knew this was going to hurt. A lot. Not physically, but if their sister kept pushing this, their relationship could easily be ruined for a long time. But the powerful god knew the risks of bringing someone back to life, especially multiple times, and they weren’t going to let their sister see that so soon.

“I’m not bringing him back, and that’s final. If you really wanted to save him, you wouldn’t have wasted your powers so late, you would’ve used them right away, and he could’ve been standing in front of you, unharmed, right now.” The words made XD cringe internally, but they knew that it needed to be said. Drista had always been the type of person to keep trying until all options were executed. If they weren’t harsh, it would never get into their sister’s head that they really couldn’t do anything about Tommy. As long as they could protect Drista, XD would be as harsh as they needed to be. Regardless of the huge crowd watching them.

At some point during Dristas screaming, the directed lightning had attracted the other members of the smp towards exile. Everyone had come to see why such a storm would point itself in exile; some believed that Tommy was being a dumb kid and attracted the lightning on purpose, others thought it had something to do with their religious beliefs. After all, Tommy got into exile by angering a man, why would he stop at angering god?

But no one was prepared for the sight before them. Lady Death, silently crying from a distance, a beloved deity screaming and crying over a lifeless body, a mortal at that, and the most powerful god on the server, watching grimly as their sister begged for the dead boy to be brought back to life.

Everyone watched in silence as the rain poured over them, no one wanted to make the first move, until Philza started walking towards his wife. Once people noticed the movement of Phil, one-by-one, others went forward to see what had truly happened.

There were no comforting words for the couple, no hugs or sympathetic hand-holding; there were only sad looks sent their way as they held each other in grief. Quackity and Ghostbur along with a few others were too distracted watching Drista yell at the powerful god, whilst Fundy and Tubbo stared in shock at the body on the ground, on the verge of tears. A couple of people were even hiding in the back of the crowd, trying to figure out ‘who pushed Tommy off the tower’. They couldn’t see the truth of the situation, just like his best friend.

The more upset Drista became with her brother, the more people started watching them. While most people feel shame about fighting in front of a crowd, Drista was more the type to ignore others’ opinions.

“BRING HIM BACK!! HE DID NOTHING WRONG, HE DESERVES TO LIVE A FULL LIFE!” Drista was standing up now, facing her brother in what appeared like a challenge.

“How many times do I have to say it, Drista?! I’m not bringing him back, he’s not coming back, and the more you try to reverse it, the more difficult you make this for the both of us!”

“If you think I’m going to believe that bullshit about making this difficult for you , you are EXTREMELY MISTAKEN, XD!! GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A PRICK SOMETIMES!” Drista pushes her brother backwards, they only stumble a bit before regaining balance. XD knows that their sister is hurting, and them refusing to revive Tommy doesn’t make it any better, so they stay motionless. Drista looks back up at her brother, waiting for a response that she never receives. So, she shoves them again, this time XD doesn’t move; they must’ve braced themselves for that.

This time, Drista hits their chest, then shoves them back, then hits them again. XD gives her some leeway when she shoves them, moving back with the force of it, despite knowing she wasn’t going to stop.

“What’s wrong with you?! Just do it already! Bring him back! Do anything! I need him to stay alive! He didn’t get to truly live! He wasn’t given a chance! Do something already, XD!” She shoves him back again as hard as she can, and they move back with it, but still refuse to do anything else.

As Drista continues to hit her brother and shove him back, they play along, and move with it, ignoring the urge to fight back with an apprehensive look on their face. XD is well aware of their sister’s overwhelming grief, but they know that fighting won’t make it any better for her.

“Fine! If you won’t bring him back, then just kill me, so I can see him again! That way it’s like you’re killing two birds with one stone, right? I’ve always annoyed you, you’ve told me that before, so why not just get rid of me!” XD turns away at the sound of that. They knew they were aggressive sometimes, but did their sister really believe that they’d kill her? “Come on!” A shove, “I know you want to, and I’m telling you to, so what are you waiting for?!” This time her shove pushes him into a tree. “Well, you’re stuck now, so-”

“Why are you so determined for me to be upset with you?” Drista stops at that, and stays silent. “What is it that you’ll get out of me killing you? You know that there is no absolute confirmation that you’ll see him, even if you die, and yet you’re still pushing this idea. So what the hell is wrong? Use your words.”

“You won’t bring him back.” XD nods in confirmation. The younger huffs, “And I can’t visit him or anything. He’s gone. He’s dead. You’d think that of all people, you would at least care about me enough to bring my only friend back. It made no difference before, and you know that.” XD can clearly tell that their sister isn’t mad anymore, she’s just grieving, and now very depressed.

“I can’t risk that, not even for you, Drista. You know I love you. You’re my little sister, I would move mountains for you, literally. But if there’s a chance that your best friend comes back as a demigod with zero control of his powers.. I just can’t put you at risk like that.”

“Oh, so you’re saying that you’re doing this for me? That’s nice. I’ll make sure to put a note in the scrapbook saying that you saved me from that. I can protect myself, XD! I know that it’s hard to see with everything that’s happened, but I am a deity, not just your little sister! You try so hard to protect me from the world, but look what’s happened! My best friend is dead , so if he comes back at the same level as me, I will teach him. I can do it, I promise. I’ve gotten so much better with controlling my own powers, I could teach him all about what it’s like to be a demigod, and he could live in the void with me, or maybe I could live in the smp with him! It would be so great! I could finally have a chance at a mortal life, and I could make more friends, too!”

“Drista, you’ve gotten way too ahead of yourself here. I am not bringing him back. He’s staying in the afterlife, and you’re staying here, alive. Now, you can sure as hell travel to the smp more often, like maybe once every two months, but other than that, you’re staying in the void with me and Kristin.”

“What? But, I do have control of my powers-”

“What, are you kidding me? After that stunt you pulled today, falling off the tower? How the hell did you think that I would let you become an official demigod, much less teach someone else how to use their own powers? Fuck no. I’m sorry Drista, but we’re going home, right now.” XD goes to grab their sister’s hand, but she pulls away immediately.

“Hell no! I’m not going back with you! My best friend, my only friend I had died , and all you can say is ‘I’m sorry, but we’re going home’?!” Drista’s tears were turned into two parts sadness, one part anger. If her brother couldn’t see the issue at hand, she might be the start of the next server war.

“Drista, please don’t make more of a scene than we already have.”

“Well, it’s too late for that now, isn’t it? I’m staying in the smp indefinitely. I’ll live here, eat here, sleep here, I don’t care, but I’m not going to the void with you if you don’t understand how important this is to me!” Drista was standing with her arms crossed in front of her, and if there was one thing that XD knew about their sister, it was that she was one stubborn deity.

“Oh dear god, I don’t have time to deal with you today, Drista! You are really getting on my nerves!” Alright, now Drista was starting to think that maybe she should back off, because her brother’s demonic side was starting to come out, and all bets were off. She wanted to stay silent in favor of not angering the demon any more than she already had, but she had a strong opinion on this matter. To be fair, she isn’t really doing this for herself, she’s doing this for Tommy, in his honor.

“She’ll be staying with us.” Drista turned around to see a short teenage boy with ram horns and a fur lined coat.

“W-Wait what?” A soft whisper from,, Ranboo? Towards the boy. They must live together.

“You must be joking. My sister won’t be staying with a premature goat and whatever you are. Besides, do you three even know each other? I’ll bet that you don’t, and you’re just trying to be a good samaritan, huh?” XD roughly gestures towards the two new guests, and by the sound of their voice, they’re looking for a challenge.

Well, they’re pretty much inviting her into their household, she might as well, “Yes I will live with them.” Drista turns back towards her brother, pointing a finger at him, “And I'll have you know, this is Ranboo and Tubbo. They were Tommy’s other best friends and nothing will be getting in my way to stay here with them. These people are more of a family to me than you've ever been, XD.” Oh, now they look mad. But with how many times Drista has seen XD’s demonic side, she’s not that worried about the outcome of this argument. Not when it comes to Tommy.

“No you won’t. I’m not allowing it. You’re too young to live on your own. Do you think I hate you, Drista? I'm looking out for you! I'm trying to keep you safe from the rest of the world until you learn how to face it like an adult! If you tried to live as a mortal, I have no doubt that you would bite the dust within a week. You're just a kid, for fucks sake! You can barely control your powers as a demigod, what makes you think you could survive as a mortal?!” Drista considers murdering her brother for a moment, before deciding it should be celebrated as a big event rather than overshadowed by Tommy’s suicide.

“You don’t get to judge and berate me because of my age; if you wanted me to be more mature and responsible, maybe you should've raised me better. Besides, you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore; now that I live with Ranboo and Tubbo, it’s their rules, not yours.”

Drista and XD were similar in many different ways, one of the ways being their determination. If one of them wasn't harsh with the other, the big idea would stick for longer than anticipated, usually causing some sort of catastrophic event (giving the demon possessing you a physical form as a normal human in society was never a great idea, now that XD thinks about it).

“Fucks sake.” XD transforms into their biblically accurate appearance, most likely too exhausted from dealing with their stubborn sister. The action results in multiple groans in disgust from the crowd watching. “If you really think you’re so prepared to live on your own in the smp with the mortals, why not get the whole experience? But don’t you dare come crying to me when living without your powers gets too difficult. I won’t want to hear it.”

“Without-You’re taking away my powers?! You can’t do that! I’m a deity, I was born with my powers!”

“I’m getting really tired of hearing this act. Just because you’re a deity doesn’t mean you’re special. I created you because I was bored and wanted a sibling, I have full control over you and your life. You always forget that I’m the most powerful god on this server.. I hope the next few days will give you time to think about what I said. You need me in order to live, Drista. Until you can control your powers completely, you’re nothing but a useless mortal among many.” XD teleports back to the void, leaving Drista to feel shocked and useless. She only wanted to bring Tommy back, and now her life has been changed forever.

And she will prove her brother wrong. Whether she needs to live as a mortal or find a way to bring back Tommy herself, she’s willing to die in the process. XD will regret ever fucking with their sister and her best friend.